17 Replies
Try establishing a daily routine that works for you and your baby. Having to take care of a newborn is hard work. List out the tasks that need to be completed. This will help you stay focused and also make you realize how much you actually accomplish! Like a stay-at-home-mum, there will be no free time now that you are assuming the main role of looking after your baby. Talk to your wife and set up a schedule for you to do things that you like, exercising, meeting up with friends, have some alone-time etc. Bring your baby out. Talk walks in the parks (avoid crowded places when you baby is still young) around the neighbourhood. Being out and about will help too! Take this time to bond with your baby. This is a great opportunity for you to have close bonding with your baby. Have some skin-on-skin contact while feeding or soothing him/her to sleep. All in all, don’t compare yourself with the conventional thinking of what the dad’s role is. In my opinion, looking after a baby is even more taxing than working outside. Really respect and admire you in being a great and awesome father to your baby! Learn to recognize what an important job you are doing. You are certainly not achieving less than any other dads (in fact, I would say you are achieving much much more). Also, take a look at this blog and have a read at these articles: http://stayhomedadandson.blogspot.com/ http://thenewageparents.com/daddy-daycare-life-of-a-stay-at-home-dad-in-singapore/ http://sg.theasianparent.com/when-dads-stay-at-home/
The best thing I think you can do is to take advantage of this opportunity to support both your baby and your wife. Yea, cause support doesn't always mean providing them financially. I've been wanting my partner to have a least a month to stay at home with baby while I am working - no joke. Cause I want them to have the solid bonding, him to have the "real deal experience" (day to day routine of baby) while doing maybe the small chores at home as well. No, not to punish him or anything BUT to help him understand what it is really about ( I was a stay at home mum from baby's birth to 7mons and was so crazy hubby cared lil less). Hopeful, I know when both of us experience it, we can then more relate to each other, sympathise more and have a clearer understanding of things - thus supporting me as well while I work for the family now. Fathers have been affiliated to the word "provider" but why not change it and go after the trend nowadays of being labelled as "nurturer". That's to make a huge difference! Who knows, your baby will be better if you can spend more time with her and love her mum even more cause you understand her better too now? You can do it! Super normal and not odd at all. Also, why not try doing anything online job as you have more access to it now. Try to read this and maybe can help you get ideas: http://sg.theasianparent.com/working-mothers-good-kids/ Kudos daddyoooow! ;)
Hi. I am in a similar situation with you, with an exception: my kid is on the way. I gather you are doing everything to get a new job. Here is what you could do in the meanwhile. a) Keep your wife happy My wife is happy when I keep myself and the house organized. Be vigilant about what could upset her and take care of it. New mothers are under a lot physical and psychological stress and are prone to burnouts. Cook for her. It is a great stress-buster. throw in an occasional foot rub. The maturity of the relationship is when sensuous massages are replaced by sedative foot rubs! b) Keep the baby happy It would not be something out of ordinary. Take this time to bond with the kid. This opportunity will not arrive again. Enlist your mum's help if you can. c) Keep yourself employable Update your knowledge. Get an expert opinion on your CV and practice for interviews with fellow job seekers. Take up an inexpensive hobby. Home brewing is something interesting and rewarding! To sum it up, Keep the mom happy, keep the baby well fed and stay fit.
Forget the gender roles in this situation and focus on the positives and the blessings you have in life - your family. Yes, maybe you have lost your job but think of it as a temporary break and a chance to bond with your child. If you don't like the term "stay home dad" then rethink your position -- you are now the primary nurturer of your child, the emotional centre of your family and most importantly, you are a father. Dads who stay at home to raise their children (be it temporarily or permanently) are very common around the world, even though it is still not something celebrated in this part of the world just yet. In Scandinavia for example, dads take a year off work or simply work from home so that they can raise their children. Don't be too disheartened, you are doing a great service for your child now, one he will be grateful for in the future I'm sure :) Hang in there!
Really awesome advice provided by others. Remember that this is just a temporary phase. Since you are already applying for jobs, sooner or later you will get one. In the mean time, focus on your baby and on the positives of being a stay at home dad. Believe me, you will have so many memories to cherish in the future that not many dads can ever have. Taking care of baby is a full time job as others have already mentioned but if you still feel incomplete -> Try enrolling in an online course for something you always wanted to learn. This might even help you in landing a new job. -> Try picking up a hobby depending on your interest, may be music or cooking or painting Hope my advice helps!! Good luck and be positive :)
for now, instead of worrying and feeling bad about losing your job, i suggest you take the time to give as much time and care to your baby as you can, while your wife is working. both you and your wife will have a huge role to play here. and even if she is the one who is working and bringing in the money, you staying at home with your baby and looking after the little one is equally important. use this as a bonding time. when you get some time to yourself, which initially will be very less, make sure you rest well and look for new work options as and when you can. and yes, try and maintain a daily routine so that you are more focused and positive.
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don't look at this as a negative but turn it into a positive. while there are other dads who are working out there, they are always complaining how they barely get to spend enough time with their baby and partner. you can use this to your advantage. teach your baby things the way you like and have learnt. help out your wife by cooking for her, and who knows it may bring out some special skills in you, which you could document. maybe start an online channel where you share what all you are cooking at home as a full time dad? :)
First of all, do not feel sad about the situation. Please take this time to spend with your child as much as you can until you get new job. Nowadays, there is more and more full time dad who look after a child while the wife goes out and feed family. I am one of them as well and I can see that my dad does house work better than me. Remember the first year of life is very fast and you will never regret being a full time dad, spend time with your child and teach your baby day by day. Bonding between you and baby will come a long.
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