Depress due to live near parent in law

Hi. I have a problem that I need to hear some advice. I live opposite my parent in law and i just gave birth 2 month ago. I have been feeling depress due to my parent in law live nearby which is only few step reach our house. During confinement, they keep saying i look sick and need to eat more herb and wine. (I'm not an alcohol person). I hate it they keep saying so eventhough the fact is I'm not feeling sick at all and they keep forcing me drinking alcohol. And i cant eat any fruit during confinement too. Everything is wind to my mom in law. I thought after confinement will be better. But i fell to another depress. I feel like i never really bond with my baby. They keep coming looking at my baby and carry him during his woken hours. (I feel like i myself have no time with my baby as he always sleep during my time taking care my baby) i felt like currently Im sharing my baby with my husband family and im regretting leave only the opposite from them. Also i dont feel i have privacy now as they keep coming over. I know i shouldnt have this feeling, but i couldnt control it and felt depress now. Could anyone give advice please. It's killing me as I start to regret giving birth without bonding with my baby properly.#advicepls #pleasehelp #firstbaby #1stimemom

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I anticipate I'll have the same problem, but with my own parents so it's something I have to be the one to set boundaries but it's hard. When I was first Tri pregnant my husband had to stay out for work for 2 weeks, and my parents just barge in almost everyday to cook, nag, rearrange the things in the house, even though I keep telling them not to. They don't even live nearby but have a car. It pisses me off but I can't be hostile at them either because I know they meant well, so it eats me up inside. It must be a lot more annoying now that you are recovering and also have a LO. You can ask your husband to speak to the easier going of the in laws to sound out that they are stressing you out and hampering your family bonding time and recovery and to stay away. One sneaky way is to tell them to give a heads up before coming over so you can even come up with an excuse to avoid them, like you have a doc appointment, another friend over, going out to the park etc. Older folks are hard headed though, if all persuasions fail, for me I'll opt to preserve the peace with the in laws instead of being hostile. There are a lot of things that are just bopian in life, looking to the future you know your LO will have a large family support, grandparents who care in their own way, and you still have many many years to bond with your kid as he grows through puberty. In the olden days the whole family helps out with child rearing, the kids are still close to their parents despite all the aunts and uncles and cousins never putting the baby down. It may be vexing, but be assured that your bond won't be damaged.

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Hi Mummy, so sorry you feel this way. It's really hard having to deal with your postpartum's uncontrollable emotions, which really happens to most women after giving birth. And this situation added to your many worries. I suggest that you communicate this problem with your husband, so when you both understood the situation, you can talk together to your parents-in-law about setting boundaries in your childcare. You can be firm and limit their visits to thrice a week, despite them living nearby. They need to understand that even tho they are near, you should be able to figure things out on your own with little help from them. I think the best way to deal with this situation is be honest with them but in a nice, communicative way. Hope this turns out well and you will be able to bond with your baby more as the first months are very crucial for your little one's development.

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