I have a gay friend who adopted her friend's baby (now 8 years old). It was as per her friend's request because of family problems and financial incapabilities. Plus, it was an unplanned pregnancy. However, after going back to Manila, her friend is already asking for her child back. I find it unfair for my friend but I also understand the plight of the real mom. I've seen her raising the child so well. How do I give advice to her?

Ahw, this is one kind of dilemma i don't ever want to get into. 8 years is not a short span of period. The child could get confused by then and I believe would be hesitant to go with the mother. If I were your friend, I'd tell the mother not to get the child instantly, but maybe eventually I guess? Like for instance, we could go on a picnic on a weekly basis so as to let the child know her better. Then from there, little by little, she can be with the child alone for longer periods of time. She should first develop to have the child's trust and love. She could not just get the child and tell her, "I am your real mother".

I also understand the yearnings of the mother. If I am in the situation, I will advice my friend to at least give the mother time to visit her child and limit boundaries first if he's feeling that she might take away the child fr. him. It would be better if from the moment he chose to adopt the child there was already a formal agreement so the mother could not readily protest if she wants to. But for the mean time advice your friend to take measures to let the mother at least visit the child without telling who she really is bec. the child might be confuse and probably won't understand the scenario.

I feel for both the real mom and the other mom. Tough times right here! It is quite hard to make up for the years that gone by so it is not best to just show up and confuse the child. I do agree with Chrystall. After all, they are friends and mothers in their own right. At the end of the day, they may very well be thinking of the child's welfare more than that of their own.

wow! i find this amazing. kudos to both moms. i would definitely not be able to do this.