I have been having issues with my husband since firstborn arrived. Now, having a 2nd kid, who is a reflux infant, at home doesn't help with the situation. I kind of lose patience easily and am treating my second child differently from my firstborn. At times I hate my second child so much I would slap him. Or throw small objects at him. Or throw him onto the bed. He'd cry badly and I'd let him cry for an hr or so. I'm thinking maybe I hate my husband so much that I'm transferring the hate to my second kid. But he's only 4months old. I really am disgusted with myself but I cannot seem to control myself. I feel very stressed, especially when my husband becomes passive aggressive and I have to 'play along' to avoid blowing up at him... For example, my husband knows that I get angry when he meddles with my laundry. When some days I don't treat him very nice cos I'm feeling tired and needed a break myself, he'd go meddle with laundry and stain white clothes with colored, then he'll say he's sorry and he won't do it again. But he'll do it again. And again. And again. I know scolding him will make him worse as I have experienced before. So I'd smile and say it's ok and pretend it's nothing. Then I turn angry towards my kid. I'm very frightened. Is there a hotline or professional help I could go to?