I think if he can't help at all since he is so tired, maybe u can consider sending yr elder to a CC so that u get a break, or hire some part time cleaner to ease yr load.
my hub also don wake up to baby cries. I think men can hear but they assume we will attend to the babies ourselves. what to do.
as for sex might be gd to avoid /take precaution so that there will be no no3 since its already very tough with 2 kids and a hub who can't help
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