Breastfeeding and post partum

Hi mummy! I gave birth early April and going through postpartum as a FTM is tough. When I thought pregnancy was bad, I had to face childbirth. When I thought childbirth was bad, I had to experience postpartum. Like you, I was crying everyday, and still do on some days when I get too overwhelmed. The lack of sleep really gets to me and with that comes the headache. One time my BP shot up really high bcos of lack of sleep and I thought I was going to die 😂 for me I had non stop guests for Raya, even on weekdays so I couldn't find time to rest in the day even if I wanted to. My baby is exclusively breastfeeding, so the nights are toughest for me cos my husband is basically useless even if he stays up. He can only help with diaper change at night. We tried bottle feeding baby but he doesn't know how to pace himself so he tends to gag/choke. He finds comfort in latching and sleeps easily like that. But then it takes a toll on my body cos I have to stay up when he latches. On top of all these, we are still expected to follow confinement practices. Eat healthy food, wear binder 24/7 while still healing from stitches, cannot go out for x number of days, cannot do this and that. All these affect your mental state cos you're not free to do what you want and always under watchful eyes, especially if you're staying with your mil. But recently I feel emotional when I realise my husband and I are not spending enough time together as a couple. No more Netflix together, dinners together, showering together. Might seem like something minor but I enjoyed those times with him and now that we can't find time to do those things, I feel like I am losing grasp of our relationship and it makes me really sad. Our lives literally flipped upside down upon the arrival of our baby. These days are tough... But when I see my baby's face everything just makes it better. This innocent face that does nothing while we do everything 😂 but support is important mummies! Text your friends, confidants, get your husband on your side. Rant all you want. Make sure you get everything out. Cry if you must. But also know that this will get better in time 😊

Hi Mummy! i understand what u r going thru. had this experience with my 1st child. my Mil want me to BF my baby. yes i tried and i failed. i recall that will trying to latched on, my baby cried very badly as she was very hungry. i prepare FM for my baby as i m a 1st time mum. i remembered how my mil nag at me asking me to BF dont use FM. best part my husband did not say a word. after a few weeks i suceeded to BF my child. what happened next is that, i standby BF stock in the fridge so that easy for my MIL to feed my child while i go for PNC massage. guess what my mil claim that my baby having stomach colic everytime feed with BM. so she suggested to discard all the BM n give FM instead which i agree since i m a 1st time mum. when i had my no2, i smart enough since i work in healthcare line and learn few things about taking care of newborn and BF exclusively. my no2 i make my own decision such as i BF exclusively. next i look after my newborn without any help. always bear in mind. do not always carry your child unneccessaryly. feed the child. burp the child leave it flat on the mattress. once u start to carry, baby will start to cry if u did not carry. swaddle the baby is the best. after each feedinf best to check diaper. so that u no need to disturb ypur baby sleeping. now my no5 is on the way. all the best mummy

Dear mummy, thank you for sharing your experience ❤️ hugggs. I’m about 4 mths postpartum and I too had a hard time breastfeeding. I wanted to bf exclusively but on my 5th day I caved in to formula milk because it was so so so painful to latch and i felt so tired to be the only one who can feed baby on demand while im still recovering from giving birth. My breastmilk supply has not properly kicked in yet so I couldnt pump much either. I felt very guilty when I started giving him FM but I told myself that fed is best and who cares about my hubby/parents/inlaws’ opinions bcus THEY ARE NOT THE ONES EXPERIENCING THE PAIN. Mental health is more impt and if I’m well rested, I can care for baby better and be more present. I’m sorry that your feelings were invalidated by your hubby and in laws. You totally deserve to feel the way u feel and decide whether u want to continue to breastfeed or not. Your body, your call! ❤️ rmb, FED IS BEST! I was on full formula milk and I grew up well!!!

I feel you... ftm here too and postpartum is really so bad for me. But thankfully I have supportive parents and parents in law. I couldn't get any breastmilk and could not BF at all. They did not say anything and just encourage me telling me its ok if really cannot. My baby is already FM fed since he is back from hospital until now, coming to 2 months old. All good for him so far with the FM. I can say it is still as stressful and tiring even when baby is 1 month plus now. Still crying on days where I feel really helpless and mentally tired. There are also days where I cried and tell my husband I don't want the baby anymore. It's too difficult. But eventually it will work out and now getting use to it. Baby is much better now and with better routine. Hang in there and you can do it. 💪

I totally can feel you! When I just gave birth I cried every single day ( cried almost 3 months ) I think my tear is more than my milk. BF was the hardest part of it, until my hubby ask me if you want to stop you can just gave her FM. After I stop BF i feel happier and slowly I become stable. I still remember swollen nipple and I need to pump every 3 hours. By baby reject my nipple too.

I'm crying almost every night too. i didn't know it was this hard. i am a FTM too, i felt so helpless when my little one wouldn't stop fussing and crying. milk given, diapers changed. still unable to sleep. the screams of cryings make my heart beat so fast like i'm having anxiety. i kept telling myself to calm down but it's so hard.

Congrats on your newborn! It is definitely tough taking care of a newborn and having a good support system helps a lot with mummies’ health and recovery. If you need any breastfeeding support, you can consider joining the Breastfeeding Mothers SG Facebook group. They have counselors to help.

You don’t have to latch to give your baby breast milk. If you have milk, you can choose to pump and feed your baby breast milk through a bottle if he rejects your boobs. If not formula is really fine. Jia you mummy!

MIL is always from hell. Period. I gave up pumping only few days after discharge due to too much streess.

same here ❤️