I just found out that the baby I am carrying has high risk of Down syndrome. My Husband wants to keep it. I don't. I don't think I will be able to cope and I am very horrified and ashamed that I might have done something in this pregnancy to cause this. I don't know what I did wrong. I never drank a sip of alcohol. I quit my job and take care of myself very well in this pregnancy. What should I do.

Have you done amniocentesis? If you have not, you may want to do so. Amniocentesis is accurate. One of my twins was diagnosed with DS and with a heart problem. Like you, I was lost and blamed myself for bad genes. My hubby did not want to keep the baby diagnosed with DS, as he feels that the baby will suffer when growing up. I agreed with my hubby but as a mother, I tried to convince myself that we will be able to cope and give our baby a normal life. We seeked a second opinion from another gynae. We discussed with him and he gave us his honest views. Some parents also shared their real life experiences. After much thoughts and reading, we decided to do selective termination. Please discuss with your hubby. Have to think practically whether you and your hubby are able to cope mentally and financially. No matter what decision you and your hubby make, it is for the best of your baby. And you gotta make sure you can live with the decision you make for the rest of your life. Best wishes on whatever you decide.

Hi there, don’t be disheartened. I did Panorama test at 12 weeks and DS result was fine but turns out I had high risk for DiGeorge and was very shocked and went through very trying times with my husband. But remain strong and communicate all your feelings, fears and thoughts with your husband. He is and will be your strongest supporter and pillar of strength. I would suggest don’t jump to conclusion first that “this is the end/ this is it” but rather, get ur gynae to explain to you clearly the risk, and whether you should go for Amnio test. After my first NIPT results, I did a level 3 detailed fetal scan, and my gynae recommended I do Amnio test to be almost 100% accurate. I trusted him and followed his advice and just last week (after almost 2 months of anxiety), results were cleared, and the DiGeorge syndrome was a false positive. So don’t give up just yet, make informed decisions with your husband. You can do it!!

seek for 2nd opinion first. I've a relative who has autism. I can say is firstly you have to be mentally prepared to go through alot. I would say it's tiring, requires alot of attention and understanding. you have to ask yourself and your husband can you 2 handle it together? it's a life time commitment not just now. it's physical and mentally stress. I would say it's not easy in future. before I went for test me and my husband agrees together to abort and try again if my result are bad. we don't want the baby come to this world to suffer that's our main reason. you have to stay strong so you know what you would want to do next. please don't blame yourself no one want this to happen too. it's not your fault too.

High risk doesn’t mean confirm he/she has DS.. you can go for the Harmony test where they draw your blood to test for baby’s DNA, or take baby’s amniotic fluid to see his DNA directly.. the test with the amniotic fluid is (almost?) 100% accurate.. then I think you can discuss with your hubby what to do next.. Also, it’s not your fault if your baby is high risk or has DS.. it’s genetics, and honestly, there is nothing you can do (or don’t do) that would change the result.. don’t beat yourself up about it! For all you know, your baby may not have DS; or at least through this experience, you might learn that you have the heart and compassion you never knew you had?

i can understand your pain... but don't be disheartened, children are a blessing in whatever form they are. I chose not to do any test as i dint want the burden to keep thinking about it and it was both our decisions to keep the baby no matter what so i opted not to do any test and give me stress. My couzin is a DS and he is a blessing in the family. You are just at high risk and you dont know if you will have a DS baby... i say dont worry and take it in your stride. God has a plan for you and please dont terminate

sometimes things might not be what you thinking. My mum used to carry my bro.. And dr did mention that too amd also sometimes its inaccurate. After all its a life .. My parents decided to keep no matter what he turn out to be and true to say he is born perfectly and nothing wrong with him and he even get scholarship every year. Sometimes some report are wrong. So u might reconsider with your husband again. As child dont choose to be. And i hope you can overcome and reconsider . And nothing to be ashamed. Be brave mummy..

Hi mummy will suggest you to go for more detailed test to confirm it. Advice to you is both you and your husband have to talk about it. It won't be easy for both of you if you decide to keep the baby. You 2 have to be mentally prepare to accept alot of thing in future. Its my experience I have a cousin with issue. So it's really not easy for both parents and the baby as time goes by.

It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s genetics. The baby is your own flesh and blood. The baby is innocent. No matter what, the baby deserves a chance. High risk doesn’t mean that the baby doesn’t deserve to be born. Do what you can to prepare yourself and hope and pray for the best outcome!

Down syndrome is really depends on each person. It's due to genes and some defect. Don't blame yourself for it. Neither do you want it. You needs lots of strength and support. Most importantly, you need the support from your husband. Hang in there. Look for support groups to guide you thru this journey

hugz babe. i know how u feel abt it. honestly tell you, i have two siblings who is autistic. i salute to my mother. Who she sacrifice and give lots of love to my siblings. Its fate that bring this path. And there is the reason why. Stay strong babe