Anxiety Strikes

I envy those people who are financially stable, enough na hindi na nila gaanong iisipin kung san kukuha ng pang gastos pag labas ni baby. Ako kasi I feel so unlucky, kasi very unplanned yung pag bubuntis ko. Walang ipon, hindi talaga ready. Nevertheless I am still grateful kasi god gave me a reason to keep going. Although sometimes I feel so emotionally and physically drained. Minsan feeling ko mag isa lang ako. Lunod na lunod na kasi ako sa mga pinag iisip ko. Sa totoo lang, pagod na pagod na po ako. I am now in my 7mos pregnancy yet I am still working full time minsan beyond 8hrs pa. Gstong gsto ko na magpahinga :( but these anxieties of mine won't let me rest. Dagdag pa sa iisipin ko na yung partner ko is walang work. Although may mga sideline naman siya, pero syempre hindi sapat yun. Nakakainis lang kasi I don't feel him (since we were not yet living in the same house, so I wasn't able to witness) strive hard para sa mga gastusin. Feeling ko kasi masyado siyang kampante. Or maybe ako lang nag iisip ng ganun? I still give him the benefit of the doubt. I really don't know what to do. I am planning to have my maternity leave next month, but then I am planning to extend and continue working until the last week of June, kahit pagod nako :( ilalaban ko. Wala naman kasi akong makuha na assurance mula sa kanya. When I told him my plan, he only said 'ikaw bahala, kaya mo pa naman'. Nakaka disappoint na ewan or maybe ang taas lang ng expectation ko. Gsto kong assurance na marinig sa kanya is 'sige, pahinga ka na. Pagod ka na. Ako naman muna', something like that. Haaays, if I am going to be wise enough, kung maibabalik ang kahapon. I chose not to have a child that is unplanned, i want to be so ready. Ready, yung tipong wala ka ng negative na iisipin. Kasi napaghandaan mo na. Though, don't get me wrong, I don't regret being pregnant, I regret not being ready when this situations happened. Nonetheless, shinare ko lang to dto. Kasi wala akong mapag sabihan kahit kanino and I think sharing this thoughts of mine here in this app will lessen ths burden thoughts that I am having. #1stimemom #pregnancy #advicepls #pleasehelp