I caught my daughter (4yr old) touching her private parts under the blanket. I also caught her using the shower hose and spraying it there. I asked her why and she replied it felt good. What is the best way to teach her about this?

7 Replies

I agree with Chiran and Hui. Children, especially at that age, are really curious. I also understand that you may find it bothersome and alarming, because, as a parent, it's in your nature too. However, divert these negative thoughts into finding rational solutions for this case. Aside from Hui's advise, you can also prevent this from happening again by spending more time with her and try to look into even the tiniest of details. Where does she usually play? Who are her playmates? Was there any instances where she communicated with other people in your neighbourhood? Do these without too much anxiety. It's also a learning process for you as a parent.

Read more

Keep an eye on her. Stop her every time she does that. Try your skills of not letting her do certain things which you don't feel right which you must have used in past for some or the other things.

VIP Member

first you have to say stop to her. Tell her with very understandable explanation why she sould stop. second, find out where she got that idea to touch herself.

My daughter previously will not wear pant at home and showed her private part to her brother. So I borrow some books that are suitable for young kids to teach them about their private part and how she should protect them (e.g. not to touch the private parts or let people touch/see). After she understands the reason behind, she stopped doing it. Some times, my girl will tend use her hands to scratch her private part. I will check if the private part is red/swollen. If there is nothing, I will bring her to wash with clean water and she will not do it after that.

Read more
Post reply image

Children are unaware that those are inappropriate behaviour. They are just generally curious and as they grow, they learn more about their bodies. Children around three to four years old are happy to repeat any activity that they found make them feel good. This may include touching himself/herself. To them, it is similar to activities that bring them joy such as playing in the water or running around. As such, they may find touching their genitals pleasurable and may even do it unconsciously. One way to handle this would be to explain to your daughter the concept of “private parts” when teaching them about body parts. Also, explain that these are areas that should be kept “private”. This would be a good time to teach them about molestation. Explained that their private parts should not be touched or shown to anyone except mommy or daddy during a bath or dressing, or to a doctor during a checkup (with mummy or daddy around). Educate them to inform you if anyone touches him/her.

Read more

Parents often have similar question to yours!!! Children are curious by nature. It's not for sexual arousal but to satisfy their curiosity. This is not something abnormal. Resist initial impulse of getting angry or punishing your child. Just calmly make her understand what's private (e.g. body parts under swim wear) and that touching/exposing private parts are not acceptable in public. Keep your communication channel with her open and discuss openly if she has any questions. After all being a parent is not easy!! She will grow out of it as she gets little older.

Read more

Take it light. Take few steps, and don't forget she's just 4. - STOP HER: tell her it's a bad thing. term it ghostly if you've to. until she's old enough - FIND HOW she caught this up. definitely is influenced by a naughty neighbour kid/uncle/aunts. cut off access to neighbours, or move out to good location - Spend enough time with her, divert her mind into games, outdoor play, and TV if you've to first figure how she learnt and take action accordingly

Read more