We’ve been married for 3 years and finally blessed with a babygirl. From my 1st trimester until now 3rds he never wanted to touch or interact with the baby in my belly. I sometimes forced him to touch my belly and he started to make unhappy face, Idk that makes me sad.. but he’s act like the one who care to my pregnancy more than myself in front of his family or friends 😩 same ! It’s like he’s phone is he’s wife, he’s everything. he spend almost all his off day on phone and his anime’s. 3rd trimester but haven’t prepared anything because I’m not working and I’m fully depend on him 😢 I wish I can get a job one day and no need to bother him and let he enjoy his beloved phone and those stupid cartoon 😒 pity my sweet babygirl didn’t get her father’s love enough 😭
I feel men are not nurturer but provider by nature. They need that push when it comes to matters of taking care of anybody. It is extremely frustrating at times! Just like the games they love, they need to be guided and instructed on what are the expectations etc. Just couple nights ago, I asked my Hubby to watch baby at night while I went to loo. I could hear baby cry and came back to see him fast asleep with my LO crying next to him. How in the world!!! So yes, they need to be told and reminded explicitly, what is expected of them. My hubby does help with baby though :)
Sometimes I feel like partners need to be 'trained' like children too - we need to be clear, consistent and firm, while being kind of course. When my husband is unsure of how to help, I requested for him to manage simple, consistent tasks (like emptying the diaper bin, making the baby's milk at night, etc) just so he can fall into the routine together and help out. It's tough for them to anticipate what we or baby needs so we need to guide them until hopefully it becomes a norm for them.
Same like my husband. I had a talk with him about how parenting is a teamwork. This is not 1920s where wives take care of everything. He seems to be better now. Even though I still have to give instructions most of the time, like make his milk, prepare his bathtub, I can see that sometimes he takes initiative to spend time with the baby and lighten my load. So have a talk with him. Sometimes it can take a few time, but try talking to each other.
Sorry to say that he is fake as he is totally a different person when he was in front of other people. I think you have to tell him your expectations and sharing of responsibility as situation may be worse when your child goes to kindergarten or primary school. Hope he will be more involvement and knows that he is not just a sperm donor. Sorry for being blunt.
Hi, sorry if I ask how old is baby? Sometimes husband just felt that baby is mommy's duty and expect us to do everything whereas actually, as a parent we gotta help each other and I believe everyday is a learning journey as new parents. I hope u can talk to him nicely and both of u can share duties.
Hi, I suggest that you have an open hearted talk with your husband and you really speak to him on why is it important for him to also be responsive when it comes to taking care of the baby
It might be best for you to discuss your feelings with the husband amicably and then establish mutual agreement.