I adopted my child when she was 3 months old and she will turn 2 next month. When do you think I should tell my daughter that she is adopted and how should I do it?
My first cousin is an adopted child. And she has no idea up until now. My auntie and uncle got her a day after she was born and she doesn't know until now (she's 21 years old). They said that they will let her know once she's done schooling so that if anything goes bad like she'll decide to leave them - they're already "done" with their primary obligations to her and that she's mature enough to think things over on her own. But having able to live "closer" to her.. I can say that she's been a happy, normal child. Though from time to time people compare how she looks like from us, because it's evident that she got fairer complexion and has chinkier eyes than all of us in the family - thus makes her browse rise. Hmm.. Can say that if I were in her shoes I won't feel bad about it 'cause she was loved very much and was treated normal. I know that it's her right to know the truth someday and believe that there will be a part of her that will really make her probe who her real parents are - cause truths makes her who she really is.Read more
One of my friends is adopted and she knew pretty early in her life, around 10 or 11. Apparently she started asking questions after reading a Babysitters Club book, in which the protagonist suspected that she was adopted and went about investigating her hunch. Her parents eventually revealed the truth to her after much coaxing. She told me that she took it pretty well because she was so young and the fact that her life resembled a book she loved somehow distracted her from the realities of her adoption. Her parents initially planned to tell her when she turned 18 but she's glad she found out in different circumstances, in her own terms. There is never a perfect time to tell your child about her past but her present and future is filled with nothing but love and I'm sure when you do tell her, she will know this :)Read more
You could get some books which the both of you can read together. She may have a lot of questions about why she was adopted and if her biological parents didn't want her anymore. Reassure her that you will always love her no matter what and she will understand that you don't need to share the same blood to be family. She might want to know about her birth parents when she grows older, but that's her choice to make. http://www.parents.com/parenting/adoption/facts/childrens-books-about-adoption/Read more
The truth has to be spoken someday and there is no perfect time to break the news like this. My aunt and her husband adopted my cousins since she was born. They took care of everything including her legal issue and plan to tell her by the time she was married. So her real father can give her blessing and marry her (we are from moslem family)Read more
Tell her that while most kids grew in their mummy's tummy, she's extra special, because she grew in mummy's heart.