My mum keeps hogging my baby

My husband and I have been living with my parents since marriage. Our new place comes in mid to end next year, and our 7 weeks’ old also lives with us. My mum had initially insisted on caring for me and baby during confinement, thus I wasn’t allowed to hire a nanny. She made us hire a helper instead. Fast forward to post-confinement, my mum continued to hog on to my baby. She comes up to our room between 4am to 6am daily to grab him to her room to sleep and claims she wants my husband & myself to rest, when my baby is clearly sleeping soundly with us. In the day time when she’s on leave or wfh, she will also bring him down to her room the whole day. If she goes to work, she will always come upstairs to bring him back to her room until 10pm when my husband goes down to bring him back up. She always says she wants me to rest, but I don’t need it, and I made it very clear to her several times. When I told her I’m giving my son probiotics for his colic, she started questioning me and made it seem like I will endanger my son. And when I said I want to bring my son out, she also kept trying to discourage me. I just want to be with my baby. And when I’m with my baby, she will come and tell me to let my helper take over. It’s as if she doesn’t want me to be with my child alone. It’s getting very annoying and I really want to tell her off, but she has done a lot for my son, so I can’t be scolding her or taking my boy away from her completely. She even offered to move her work schedule to ensure she can take care of my baby. I want to be his primary caregiver, but my mum doesn’t even allow me to bathe him as she claims he’s too fragile now. Please advice on how I can have my son back without hurting my mum’s feelings. #FTM #advicepls

4 Replies
 profile icon
Write a reply

Could it be a misunderstanding? sometimes parents want to help us but they may not know how to, so they do it in the way they think is right. best to talk to your mum about it and clear the air.

1y ago

I see, end of day, baby is yours. If you want to be more hands on with the baby, she also needs to respect your wishes. I'm also a FTM with a young infant. Communication with parents is very important if they are helping to look after the baby. I learnt that parents want to help but sometimes they may not know what we want or need, up to us to let them know. good luck, hope everything will be ok for you and your family soon.