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Canice, Singapore

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About Canice

Happy mummy of our lil bee

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My boy is 5.5mths, and caught a pretty bad cold that started on Apr 23. We went to the clinic 4 times in the span of 8 days as his conditioned kept worsening after each visit. Finally, yesterday, the doctor prescribed him with antibiotics and also hydralate because my boy was vomiting due to intense coughing plus his dislike for the other mid ones, and he was dehydrated. I was wondering if any mummies here have had the pain of having to give your baby antibiotics before he/she turned 6 months? Is it really safe and alright for such young infants? I’m just worried at the side effects, even though the doctor said it was fine. I just find that drugs are generally not fine, especially when their kidneys & liver are not so well functioning yet.

yes it’s fine. i’m a pharmacist and if it’s from PD, it’s fine. you can let baby recover on his own without antibiotics but it will take longer (prolonged suffering for your kid)

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Are these boundaries overbearing?

I have never imagined myself setting rules, and I never did, until I saw them so such things. So these are basically boundaries I set after I seen my in laws do these things to my son. Because I’m a ftm, I also don’t know what to expect, and I had expected my in laws’ behaviour towards my son to be safe since they are all parents themselves, but to my horror, they did many things, and these are the few measures I put in place after what they did. My husband, however, feels that I’m overbearing towards his family members for setting boundaries on how our 3 month old should be treated such as: 1) No alcohol-sniffing or feeding of alcohol to our son (my FIL has been doing this with my SIL’s kids & feeds these toddlers with wine. He has made our boy sniffed alcohol twice right infront of us - we warned him the first time when he tried making our boy sniff alcohol. He still did it the second time with beer anyways) 2) no shaking of our son because my in laws likes to shake him for fun - husband thinks they survived all these shaking and rocking as babies, so LO should do just fine with this treatment. 3) increase the aircon temperature and don’t stand directly under the aircon that’s blowing at top fan speed in the living room while carrying my son who is feeling sick (my FIL claims this action will build his immunity). 4) no waking up of the infant when he’s sleeping ( my MIL used to visit when he was just born and wanted to interact with him. But newborns can only sleep, so she would softly poke him or gently shake him and make noise to wake him up) 5) no putting him on the swing as I feel it’s dangerous, even if my FIL is seated with him (even in normal chair, my FIL almost dropped my baby. Plus, he swings fairly high and I can see the horror in my son’s face. But my FIL scolded my husband for telling him to stop) 6) no shouting at my baby if he cries (my FIL has a habit of shouting at anything and anyone that doesn’t please him) 7) to keep hands and clothes clean before holding my baby (my son has recently developed a habit of licking anything that he sees, so when we carry him front-facing, he would lick the carrier’s hand; when he is carried on our shoulder, he would lick the shirt and neck of the carrier. my MIL is always sweaty after cooking, touches and handles raw meat and food, and she digs her teeth with her fingers after meals, and still requests to carry my boy after these activities) 8) to wear mask around my son if they are unwell but still want to see my son (my SIL and her kids were down with a ‘mild cold but recovering’ but still insisted we bring our baby to the family gathering, which takes place weekly) - I didn’t even want to bring my little one there as he himself had recovered from a cold recently, but she say until so pitiful, like only get to see him once a week, so I compromised. My husband said this was inconveniencing the family. 9) I wanted to use our new baby cot & mattress instead of theirs, that has been stored (non sealed) in their utilities room for at least 4 years, and also crawling with roaches and rodents) - I have seen rats and cockroach in that utilities room before. Even though they said they would air and sun the mattress, and use 2 layers of cloth to wrap it, I still don’t feel comfortable using such old mattress that hasn’t been sealed properly. Many other hazardous actions which is too long of a list to write here. Again, I fully trusted them to be able to handle an infant with care, but they have proven otherwise, so I had to come up with such rules on the spot when I see them doing smth wrong. How do I explain to my husband that I’m not instructing in a rude way, but I’m setting safety boundaries which they never had before?

After all these, I would sternly INFORM my husband that I want things my way. Because if your husband really bothered about your child’s well-being, he would have told your PILs off at point 1 and not letting point 2, 3/9 appear. This has nothing to do with FTM or STM. Do this to my daughter and you can get out of my life. Set boundaries, stand up for your LO, voice out and be stern. Don’t let people step over your head. If you want, tell your husband sternly that you would like him to let his parents know that he would like them to stop all these actions. If your husband don’t support you, then DIY. Your child > PIL. Just because your sil is ok doesn’t mean you have to be ok. I used to just keep quiet when i don’t like what my mil is doing until I gave birth to my LO. If i see her doing nonsense like trying to feed my then 4mo weird foods or something unsafe, I would tell her nicely once. If she don’t listen, I will just tell her off. She can be unhappy, that’s not within my concern and control, I already have 18737473 things to worry and do. Now my lo is above 1yo, somethings we just close one eye. (My MIL is VERY petty btw)

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How to wean off

I’m thinking of weaning off soon, but my boobs are always in pain every 2-3 hrs after each pump/latch. Am I supposed to just let my boobs leak and be in pain to wean off? Or are there less painful methods or ways to reduce pain while weaning off? #firsttimemom #PleaseAdvice

When you wean off, you are to still pump till you know your milk has none left. You feel the pain perhaps you still have milk and hence cause little engorgement.

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Need some help & advice

My baby (3 mths old) has recently been pushing out his pacifier so as to suck his fingers. He gets very cranky when we pull his hand out. Is there any other methods to stop him from sucking his fingers?#advicepls #FTM

Our pediatrician says its ok to allow the Baby to suck their fingers. It apparently becomes a problem when their permanent teeth come in. We were advised to allow this but try to talk to him before he reaches 3 years old to stop

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Why does my baby cry the moment he’s put in a carrier

My baby is 2 months old now, and he only likes to be carried upwards against our chest. So we bought the ergo baby carrier suitable for infants. However, the moment we put him in, he cries like we have committed a terrible crime against him. How can I make him more comfortable with it and accept the carrier?#pleasehelp #firsttimemom

Have your baby reached the min “height” to be in the carrier? Mine was a Ergobaby omni which was suitable for infants as well, however my baby was too short and only managed to hit the minimum height at 3.5mo. (I didn’t know about this so everytime I tried putting her in, she was screaming murder.) However when I finally saw the “height” requirements at the seat area, I tried again and she fell asleep within a min! From then on, she loves being carried in the carrier. 😊

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My mum keeps hogging my baby

My husband and I have been living with my parents since marriage. Our new place comes in mid to end next year, and our 7 weeks’ old also lives with us. My mum had initially insisted on caring for me and baby during confinement, thus I wasn’t allowed to hire a nanny. She made us hire a helper instead. Fast forward to post-confinement, my mum continued to hog on to my baby. She comes up to our room between 4am to 6am daily to grab him to her room to sleep and claims she wants my husband & myself to rest, when my baby is clearly sleeping soundly with us. In the day time when she’s on leave or wfh, she will also bring him down to her room the whole day. If she goes to work, she will always come upstairs to bring him back to her room until 10pm when my husband goes down to bring him back up. She always says she wants me to rest, but I don’t need it, and I made it very clear to her several times. When I told her I’m giving my son probiotics for his colic, she started questioning me and made it seem like I will endanger my son. And when I said I want to bring my son out, she also kept trying to discourage me. I just want to be with my baby. And when I’m with my baby, she will come and tell me to let my helper take over. It’s as if she doesn’t want me to be with my child alone. It’s getting very annoying and I really want to tell her off, but she has done a lot for my son, so I can’t be scolding her or taking my boy away from her completely. She even offered to move her work schedule to ensure she can take care of my baby. I want to be his primary caregiver, but my mum doesn’t even allow me to bathe him as she claims he’s too fragile now. Please advice on how I can have my son back without hurting my mum’s feelings. #FTM #advicepls

Must lock your bedroom door. It is rude for anyone to enter without permission.

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Infant cries hysterically suddenly

My infant, 7 weeks old now, has cried hysterically three times already, within a span of 2 weeks. He is already fed, has his diaper changed and also burped, and his nose sprayed. We brought him to TCM massage to help with his gas and reflux, but he still cried like that. I don’t know what the issue is, and it makes me want to also cry whenever I see him like this. Usually he stops crying when we pick him up and rock him, and when I talk to him. But none of these worked the past 3 times. Has anyone’s baby behaved like that? I don’t think infants so young can have nightmares, correct me if I’m wrong. Does anyone know what’s happening? #advicepls #pleasehelp #FTM

TapFluencer

Tried applying Ruyi oil?

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How to tell visitors the boundaries I have set for my baby?

As the pandemic continues to evolve and flue virus spreading together will tonnes of other diseases like EBV, I’m concerned for my newborn. How can I tell visitors that they should only visit if they’re well, and I will be providing masks and hand sanitizer as they will be expected to be in mask and have their hands sanitized at all times when they are near my baby and myself? And also, how do I tell visitors that I’m not comfortable with them holding my baby or kissing him? I don’t want to hurt the feelings of my visitors. I do appreciate them taking time to visit, but I feel I need to take these precautions just in case. Or am I thinking too much?

no you’re not thinking too much, it’s natural to worry and understandable to have all these precautions. i reminded visitors to wash hands (and feet) once entering the house, and if they want to kiss, just say no kissing, even i don’t kiss baby like that. you can carrier baby so they have no chance to carry!

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Fetal Low weight gain

Between 28-30 weeks, my fetus gained slightly over 500g, and he has always been in the 69th percentile. but this time when I went for my check at 32+5, he only gained about 130g. My gynae says he’s growing well & in the right range although I kept asking if this weight gain is too little. but when I checked online, a healthy fetus should be gaining abt 200g per week at this age. Did anyone have experience with such an issue and still managed to deliver a healthy baby? Just need some reassurance.

If your gynae tells you it’s ok, trust them. Don’t listen or see too much online. It’s always 50 50. My baby is on the lower weight side and despite my gynae telling me to spam high calories food till birth, I am the only one gaining lol! Baby came out at 2.6kg (40.3weeks) 😊

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