9 Replies

We need to be reasonable at times. Since Mummy received an MC, your right to leave with the company is unaffected. If he still has enough of leave available for this year and his absence from work won't have a significant impact on his job, he can take time off to accompany you. I am still in the first trimester and so far my husband insisted on following, I personally don't feel the need for him to do so. I felt is a waste of leave. This is where communication between you and husband involve. I talk to him about it and he shared his personal view that he wanted to witness every check as he intends to have just one child. So this is the only time he can go through it. Perhaps you can find bed time heart to heart talk with your husband and understand each point of view. Don’t compare with your colleagues or friends since every person have its own story.

Talk to him.. explain he’s needed to witness the baby growth. But maybe u can choose those important check up then involve him.. It’s my second pregnancy. And I rather go alone for my gynae check up as it’s rather waste of time, can wait up to 1/2hr but the check up is only 10min. And I actually enjoy the alone time. Hahaha. But my hubby can’t acc me due to his job that doesn’t have leave. But of cos for important check like gender reveal, maybe he will try to take mc. Hahaha 😂 and I think mostly 3rd trimester need more accompany. Don’t worry mama, communicate and let him know how u feel!

My hub doesn’t accompany me to gynae check up too due to work, but I’m fine with it. Don’t really need husband to accompany, as gynae check up took abt 10min for private ? So no point wasting his leave for his 10min time . Hahahaha . Only will ask hub to accompany when needed, like gender reveal and other important stuff, if not regular check up ownself go. I don’t think it’s important for hub to accompany, Most importantly is be independent. When time needed hub to accompany, let your hub know and tell him.

Thank you much for your input ! At least I am not alone .. I thought everyone’s husband accompany them and start to feel unsettled when mine doesn’t accompany me when the previous pregnancy I told him there is no need to come and I have always been very independent but start to feel otherwise when I notice all my friends husband were very involved in their pregnancy ..

Yes, because I want him to be involved and I want company. Guys are a very straight forward and single minded creature, if you want him to accompany you for every visit, just tell him in advance and ask him to apply leave. Unless he is very very enthu, he will just think you don’t need him to be there, especially when you said you are always independent. Just tell him, “I have a visit on xx and I hope you can be there with me every visit.”

U are so lucky to have your husband with you… I feel like I am living like a single mum who is in contact with a night stand baby dad who is responsible for the bill.. lol

My husband asked me if he needs to accompany me for gynae visits and I told him no (except for important visits like gender reveal or other matters) because it eats up his leave (only mummies get MC). Besides, private gynae visits are very short and I see no point for him to waste his leave for a short visit to the gynae’s office. If you really wish that he follows you to every visit, just let him know and I’m sure he accommodate! 😊

Thank you for sharing… because initially I felt the same as you but after I spoke to others, my friends comment kinda make me feel he is not involved enough.. but now yes I will know how to manage better again knowing that I am not alone ! 😂

You know some guys dont always say out their thoughts/care even though they really do care. Your husband may be keeping his leave for when you are more advance in your pregnancy or after the baby arrive? Well, as much as we do hope that husband can accompany us to gynae checks, i guess having someone to accompany us to baby vaccination, checkups etc in future will be better?

I never heard of anyone who doesn’t want to accompany wife to gynae appointment. The problem is not you, it is him. Everyone is excited about the arrival of this newborn and looking forward to every appointment is like seeing the baby grow from one dot to something that finally look more human. He should also be there for you in case there are any issues with the pregnancy.

I keep wondering if it’s my issue that he is not involved .. but I guess I didn’t communicate enough with him and he assume that I will be fine when I always have been doing things on my own 😅

💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

Quite a red flag for me.

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