Husband has low sex drive and is not interested in sex

My hubby often says he is tired from work whenever I try to initiate sex. Through the 8 years that we have been married, we probably have sex only about 4 to 5 times throughout a year, and usually quick sex that ends with his ejaculation. I used to think that my post-partum flabby body after our 2nd child had become so unattractive and turned him off. I even wondered if he was having an affair outside. I have tried ways to turn my hubby on, after losing some weight, putting on sexy lingerie, even planning a 'sexcation' away from the kids... but we still don't make love much. I strongly believe a healthy sex life is also part of a happy and healthy marriage. We have had our heartfelt talks with each other, and i told him how lonely i have been feeling. My hubby's low libido is most likely attributed to the many medications he is taking for high blood pressure, high cholestrol and the worse one is from antidepressants. My hubby is not the sentimental sort, and we don't have much physical intimacy other than some quick hugs or pecks on the lips. He is a good man and a good father who provides for the family. As a stay-home mum I am kept very busy but this is an issue that is always weighing on my mind. I don't have close friends and this is not something i can talk to my family about, without them judging my husband. I do not have intentions to leave my husband but i feel really sad, especially if the low libido was due to medication, and there's nothing that my hubby can do about it.

3 Replies
 profile icon
Write a reply

My hubby had heart op 2 years ago and on Long term medication. This medication affected his sexual desire. The more he takes, the lesser desire he has. He is aware & hated it. I didn’t force him but to tell him this is for his health. I think he felt the pain of not able to fulfil the Husband role as much as he could. But recently he decided to cut down on his medication to see if it helps. (It does! But I am in my last lap of pregnancy so a bit tough.) I am sure he is as guilty. Maybe try review medication? Sex is important but communication and strong mind are greater to defeat boundaries. Fighting!

Read more
3y ago

Sexual needs aside, i asked myself, is this still the man i want to grow old with? The answer is still yes. I want peace in my family and i do not want to stress the hubby out for my sexual needs. I guess either have to suppress, continue to wait with hope, or seek gratification elsewhere...

I think we both are in same boat .. I can understand how pain u r baring .. Don’t know why hubbies behave like that .. even i asked my partner directly he just kept silent or divert the topic thts it .. I am very much related to u :( .. This kind of situation we must need to show them to doctor but honestly I don’t have tht much dare to suggest him to go to doctor n speak with him clearly what’s his problem.. if u hv dare to talk pls suggest ones n convey once again ur inner honest feeling .. A big hug momma.. Hope ur partner understands u soon n lead a happy joyful life again :)

Read more
VIP Member

it is really lonely to have no one share feeling. it is hard on you, mommy *big hug* Hope you can find the solution very soon. i wonder if you can ask your husband frankly that what is his opinion or any idea to make he feel happy/fresh about sex so you can offer him what he want? Have a nice weekend 💓

Read more