Sex after having a baby

Hi Mummies, I had my baby boy 4 months back. I am a first time mum and ever since the baby is born, all me and my husband can do is take care of baby and the sleepless nights. It all gets so tiring that we never think about sex. Every time we have a free window, we just want to take rest as night time sleep is not great with baby. How do you all manage to still have sex drive with a baby ? I feel like we are always so tired that sex is the last thing on our minds. We both love each other so so much but don’t have energy these days for sex. Does this get better with time ? #advicepls #firsttimemom

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It will get better once you all are less tired. My husband and I went cold turkey for close to 2 years. From mid pregnancy till my LO is 16mo because we are too tired and busy (him with work, me with LO). Now that my LO is older and I got used to the routine, we do allocate sometime to get intimate after LO is asleep. (We cosleep btw!) Get all the rest you both need then initiate! My husband didn’t dare to ask because he was afraid that I wasn’t ready/too tired. I was the one who initiated and from then on, when he wants he will initiate (it’s okay to reject if too tired, they will understand.) 😊

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1y ago

One of the best and most relaxing answers I have read so far. Thanks for putting my mind to rest because I was taking tension even for this haha As a first time mum, adjusting to this new life is so not easy so I think I will take this at my pace and when both of us are ready and well rested :)

It will get better in time. However, even me and my husband with our both kids, we didn't have much time together. They are between us or with either of us. Furthermore, my second is just 5 months old. What I would suggest is having a talk late night, netflix, watch movie or spend time together on your off day to enjoy the old times together and of course, make love ☺️ So, it is about planning, discussing and finding the tune. It is tiring, can't deny but it is to ensure you both have your 'our' time together.

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1y ago

Thank you. Will definitely try. Hopefully when baby grows more, it gets better

My husband and i had sex when baby was 4 months old. He's 8 months now and that's the only time we had sex.🤣 But we do have intimate moments here and there where we do light sexual things. Take your time ok. It does get better once your baby sleep throughout the night, can play on his/her own, have his/her fixed routine.❤️

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1y ago

Thanks for the reply babe. I think we just need to be a bit patient plus well rested too. If you are tired you obviously can’t think of being intimate

It takes time, don't be stressed about it. My husband & I still make love bcos we feel it's impt. We started on the routine again once my baby has reached about 3 months. Must always be open to try new things - can start with gentle stroking to role playing. Keeping it interesting will make it stay healthy. All the best!

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I think it’s after that first few months when you slowly adapt to the newborn stage that you will want to get intimate again. I find that especially comforting when we get intimate after a whole day of work and taking care of baby. :)

Try to set a routine for u n the baby so that there is a free time for the both of u. Work on baby to make sure he has his routine and fall asleep. Both of u should can make the time then.

1y ago

We do make the time actually and baby has a routine but in that time we just want to catch up on our sleep haha

Have your in laws or neighbours come over to help or hire a babysitter for 1 day then go out on a date night with hubby. we tried that once and we totally enjoyed the freedom 😉

Oh okay. Will look forward to that day then haha