My hubby had a good talk with me last night as we hug to sleep in bed . He told me how he felt neglected and being treated like a last priority ever since I had my second baby 1 year ago .. also because I have been busy settling baby's stuff after kids have fallen asleep that I seldom sleep at the same time as hubby. Last time when we had #1, we always make it a point to go to bed at night together . I think he misses me at bedtime at night (not necessary to BD but we always hug to sleep ). I feel really bad but appreciate that he tells me honestly how he feels . I want to think of ways to quickly finish all that I need to settle , wash up and go to sleep together with hubby .. I think my main problem is after a long day as SAHM , my main way to relax and zonk out is to take my own sweet time to do things , and some "me" time etc .. hubby already helped me out with his housework so I have no excuse that I'm bogged down by housework .. I think I'm jus taking my own sweet time to do things. Need to work fast intentionally knowing that my dear hubby is looking forward to sleep at the same time together with me . He tried to wait for me but sometimes is too late and he gotta wake up early the next morning at 6am to send my boy to his primary sch..so he needs to sleep early . We don't have much help too so to want to plan for a date for just the both of us is not easy ..any good suggestions to make him feel special and to let him know that I still love n treasure him very much? :)

15 Replies

VIP Member

eversince we have our daughter, we never go on date, sometimes I was hoping when my MIL was here (she not staying in sg), she can help to look after my girl and we can go on a date, but that was just never happened. I wish there were parttime baby sitter to accompany my girl once in a while so we can have our time together. Last month both of us take a day off to go on a date after sending my girl to child care, I think that is the only way/time we can have time together as a couple, as both of us are working. I think you can find your way to keep the sparks, as long as the two of you haven't give up on each other 😉

Super Mum

Aww.. it’s great that you and your hubby could have a good talk.. and that he longs to reconnect with you. Perhaps making him breakfast would be nice? Or setting aside time intentionally to talk and cuddle some nights (plan in advance)? My husband liked this phone game, which involved having friends send hearts (lives), so I downloaded too, just so we can send hearts to each other, and also talk about the game together 😂 Decide based on what your husband’s love language is.. what he likes to receive in order to know that he is loved (if you’re not sure, ask him), then work from there:)

Wow you are fortunate I should say. Usually I am the one who tries to talk appreciative stuffs to him, try to sleep with him during weekends and he will be the one who sometimes ask me and my son to go to next room and sleep because he wants quality sleep. To make him feel appreciated, try to make kids sleep early and sit down with him to watch TV and have a heart to heart talk at night?

Maybe get him involved to quickly finish things up. And try to find some couple time when the kids are not around. If you guys have not been having sex for a while, maybe it’s time to pamper him and make him satisfied. Try to find some time to keep the fire going. Cheers.

Try to do it together as husband and wife so he won't feel so neglected and out casted. Fix a day or time to have couple time. Maybe after the kids sleep, talk to him, give him a hug. Or even cooking his favourite dish.

VIP Member

As you mentioned that you have to settle things after making kids sleep. get him involved with helping you even. While doing, you two can actually talk and ask about each other too.

Super Mum

How about just go on a date after sending kids to school? If one is still not schooling then might be hard. But things will get better when kids are older. :)

Some housework can wait till tmr. I always believe that putting marriage before the kids is important. Kids need to see a healthy marriage to grow up well.

- cook his favourite dish. - arrange for some we time together - possible go for short trip - go out for dinner

TapFluencer

So sweet! Plan for a lunch date when the kids are in school.

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