virtual hugs to you mom. that's a heavy one. praying for you. may you find strength to stand up for you and your kids everyday. if i were you, i can handle not being priority of my husband but kids..not his top priority. kids health at risk and yet his parents still wins... that I can't handle. its like truth hitting my head like a brick wall. i would rather chose my kids to grow up with a single parent than to have emotional damaged for the rest of their lives because as they grow they will also notice the way their father treats them vs your pil.
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Sorry to say he is a good son but not a good husband. Not sure about being a good father. He will need to work out a plan for example hire a maid for his parent while caring for his Own family. Otherwise hire a maid at home to help you with two kids. If not you can let him know your plan for the sake for your kids and yourself. Know what you want and be ready to face in whatever that will happen in your husband absence.
Start by improving the relationship between you and your in-laws. Attend gathering with your hubby and children. Have a helper but place her with your parents when u r out for work. Get your hubby to bring your girl along whenever he visit his parents, let your children get closer with them. Elderly should be able to accept children faster and maybe they will love them as times goes by.....
If this scenario keep repeating again better be sure to know that your husband is not ready to taking a job as a father and a husband.Try to communicate with him nicely,if his respond is unhappy then you should find another man or another life to go on with.Dont lives in a difficulty life,you deserved better.
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calm down mum :( noone loves and cares for kids better than their mum. Tell your husband if he wants the kids will take care for him when he gets old and older or not, be a fair daddy and an assertive one then!