How do I teach my child responsibilty and to clean up after herself?

Here are eight things you can do to help kids take responsibility for their messes: 1. Start by resetting the rules. Explain to your kids that you’ve made some new decisions about cleaning up, and you want to share them so that everyone knows what to expect. “When you’re finished playing with something, it’s important that you put it away completely before you move on to something else. If you forget, I’ll remind you once. If you still forget, that particular toy will go in a special box for a month.” Some parents tell their children that toys that are left out will be given away. Decide how harsh you want to be — but make sure that you follow through. If you deliver meaningless threats in the heat of the moment, your child won’t take you seriously. 2. Establish that no new toys can be taken out until whatever has been played with has been put away. Kindly remind your daughter if she forgets. And by all means, do not clean up her messes. If you cave in and do the job for her, you will have taught her that if she whines or procrastinates long enough, she won’t have to take responsibility. Acknowledge that you understand that she’d rather not put away her paints, or that it looks like it will take forever. By letting her feel heard and understood, you’ll ensure that her upset will dissolve more quickly — and help her accept that she simply has to get the job done. 3. Avoid turning on “Mom/Dad TV,” a phrase I use to describe the heightened reactivity, attention and drama that can actually contribute to further misbehavior by turning on an interesting “show” that fuels their resistance. 4. Whenever possible, make cleanup fun. Most children are much more willing to participate in a game of “Who can clean up the most toys before the three minute timer goes off?” instead of simply saying, “Clean up this mess right now!” 5. Add energizing music to the mix. “Can you put all the blocks away before this song is over?” Again, by injecting a little fun and silliness into the cleanup routine, you’ll help your children overcome their resistance to dive into what might otherwise appear to be a boring task. 6. Model a cheerful attitude when you’re tidying up around the house. If your kids routinely hear you griping and complaining as you load the dishes into the dishwasher or sweep the floor, they will naturally think of cleaning up as a dreary activity to be avoided at all costs. 7. Avoid beginning a request with, “I need you to....” Speak with confidence, and don’t end with, “Okay?”, as in, “I need you to clean up your Legos now, okay?” The less you come across as anxious or needy, the less likely you’ll be to create a power struggle. 8. Break a big job down into bite-sized steps. Help your children work in manageable increments if they have a lot to clean up. “Start by putting away anything with red on it ... or anything made of plastic ... or whatever is small enough to fit in the palm of your hand.” This will help them learn that, little by little, they can get a big job done — whether it’s cleaning up a physical mess, working on a complex report or organizing a research project. Keep in mind one of my favorite ideas: We’re not raising children; we’re raising adults. While it may be easier in the short term to just clean up after your daughter, it’s very important that she develop the sense of responsibility that comes from knowing she can sort out her own messes. A child who is deprived of opportunities to do life’s mundane, unpleasant tasks grows up with diminished self-esteem and confidence, whereas one who has discovered that she can successfully tackle a difficult job — or a big mess — will bring the confidence she gains through that experience into her adult life.

Option 1)Make a mess. Then force him/her to live with the mess. They *should* eventually push their mess to one side to make space for themselves. Thats when you introduce boxes. Show them where to put their toys/stuff in. And arrange the boxes neatly. Should be alright from there. Option 2) Straight up hardcore strict. Give your child boxes first. Then a warning. If you want to play, you must learn to keep. If your child doesn't keep the toys, confiscate one toy from the box(this only works if your child has more than one toy) and only return it if they have successfully kept their toys in the boxes. In a child's mind, being neat just means visually no mess. So theres a good chance the toys in the box are a mess too lolol. but baby steps! Option 3) This requires commitment from either you or your partner. Wait until your child is playing or making a mess. During that mess, you casually walk in and 'slip' on one of the toys and you fake a fall. One of the hidden techniques WWE wrestlers use to create impact of injury is when they fall, then slam the floor with their hands so it 'sounds' like a heavy impact fall. Also helps to groan and repeat pain pain pain pain pain ow ow ow. If you need reference just youtube The Rock WWE and study his reactions. Anyway, after that your child should definitely be shocked and start worrying for you(if not then we got another problem) thats when you say, "MESSY IS DANGEROUS FOR US. MESSY CAN HURT" and like, advice her on how to stop from accidents like these happening again.

You can try getting her to organize her toys. Meaning let her choose which toys go into which box/container and make it clear to her that from then on, it is her responsibility to make sure the toys are in their "homes" after she takes them out to play. Also, can try having a race with her to see who picks up the most number of toys within a certain period of time. Another way is to let her organize her own wardrobes. Most children like to help their parents when they see them doing chores. You can get her to fold her own clothes and keep them in her wardrobe in whichever way she fancy. That way, she will feel more "grown up" and pick up being responsible for her things. Other household chores that she can help with are wiping surfaces, setting the table, clearing the tables etc. Play music, sing and dance during these chores will make it more fun and interesting for a child.

The best way really is to lead by example. If you want your baby to clean up after herself, you should show her how to. Another way is to make her learn to clean up after herself is by playing with her. Pick up things lying around the house and ask her to do the same. The maximum number of items picked by one person wins her an award. This will keep her motivated.

Try this simple colour-coded pickup game to make cleaning more fun: Pick a Colour and challenge your toddler to find (and put away) all the toys they can find in that Colour. "It's time to find all of the red toys! Let's see how many we can find and put away." It may take a bit longer, of course, but turning a chore into a fun lesson will be worth it.

I agree with Deepshikha. Leading by example is the best way to show your kids the importance of cleaning up after themselves. They may resent it at first but as they get older, it will become second nature to them and they may even thank you for it one day. Make it fun, too! Cleaning doesn't have to FEEL like a chore (even though it is) haha