Been through the same situation as you and my husband respect his parents a lot so I am left to handle them on my own.
What I did is I told my PILs In front of my Husband that I understand their concerns towards my children but it is my children; they have their chance to parents their kids (which is my Husband) so now it is my turn. If we can't have their understanding and respect on my parenting style then I might have to stop visiting them or allowing them to come over often to avoid any conflict.
To let them know I mean it I never visit them for months until they told my Husband they miss the kids and will "work" with us.
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