46 Replies
When my baby was young, I focused on my baby too. For me, there are alot of things going on, i.e. trying to adjust to new baby, new routine and breastfeeding task. I feel quite stressful during the transition from pregnancy to post delivery. I talked to my husband about my feelings and he understands my situation. After baby turns 1 year old and things get better and on track, my focus shifted to husband. We went for a short trip to nearby country and spend more time as compared to when I just delivered my baby. The most important thing is communication between you and your husband. If you are unable to juggle in between husband and baby, tell him and I believe he will understand.
Same here, I feel like I'm taking my partner for granted. When we were just a couple, I used to cook him food, iron his clothes and even cut his nails! When baby came into our lives, I started to focus on my baby, I stopped cooking him food (I would even tell myself, 'Why would I? His mom already cooked for him'), I barely iron his clothes and I don't cut his nails anymore. When I realized these, I said sorry to him but he is so understanding, he told me that he is old enough to do those things, what matters most is I take care of our baby. But I'm still trying to make it up for him, I want him to feel pampered and special, afterall he works hard for us.
Not literally the husband but my priority is the marriage and ofcourse the babies. Everyone deserves to be prioritized, for our babies things are usually routinary at the early years and for us to be able to be good parents/moms we should also be a good wife too. :) Not literally prioritizing the husband ocer the kids but we should always set ot take time to be catch up with the husband every single day. We have different ways, some by preparing dinner, texting, pillow talks or chitchats over midnight snack when kids are asleep. Those simple things really matters to them. :)
Hi mommy. I feel you. Since the the day I became a mom, we have three adorable children ages 6, 5 and 4 and my youngest is oxygen dependent since birth. I never had a chance to catch up with my husband just this year I have decided to take some time spending quality hours with him. He felt unloved. For me it is very understandable if you can't spare a lot of time to your husband during that stage. It takes a lot of patience and effort for both sides. But soon you'll get use to every situation you are into. As they said, have a break :) even for a little time
Sometimes we, the mother, feel bad that we focus on our baby more, but I would suggest that communication between husband and wife is very important. We need to talk to our hubbies that during the time our baby cannot help themselves we need to focus on them and we would like our hubbies to be a part of all activities to raise our babies together. This way our hubbies will not be left out and we all will be sharing great moment while our babies grow up together.
Its always healthy to give your husband time everyday. 30mins of "just us". You never know that you are unknowingly teaching your baby that he or she has a solid hard foundation to turn to (daddy n mummy, 1 union) when you repect your "just us" time with your hubby. Any other time you can get your hubby involved in baby's activities. Its not easy to be a mother and not forgetting you are a wife too :) your hubby needs your attention for a healthy marriage.
Exactly feeling the same way, mommy! I have been very busy with our little one (she's 2mos now) that I'm neglecting my responsibilities as a wife. I learned from one marriage seminar that I attended to that it's one of the commom mistakes of parents to focus on their child and not on their spouse. I guess it is consideate that our los need our help more in this time.. husband is really understanding I promise to give him time though as much as I can..
Hello mommy! I went through the same dilemma when my daughter was younger. I know it's hard to prioritize your husband given that your baby needs immediate attention. Maybe you can discuss your worries with your husband, and I think he will understand you. Once you have adjusted, you can slowly spend quality time with your husband. It's important that your relationship will not be jeopardized as it one of the basic foundations of a happy married life.
Hi Mommy! I used to be like this when to my first born. I tend to spend most of my time with her than the husband. I can see how he feels neglected. So to make it up to him, we make sure we have our Friday night date even just a coffee at the nearby coffee shop or a dinner together. It is a good way to catch up and make him feel important too. Afterall, they deserved to be loved because they are the Father of our children. :)
Prioritizing a new baby in the family is a norm that is generally acceptable. However, as the child gets older, things have to change eventually. The husband also needs special care. Remember, kids come and go (once they're adults), but a husband is here to stay. Developing and maintaining a good relationship with the husband is a must to have a successful life together.