I know what it feels like because I'm clinically diagnosed with not one but two types of depression. (Major depressive disorder and manic depressive disorder) Di ako nadiagnose na may PPD dahil one year old na before si baby noong nakapagpacheck up ako sa Psychiatrist. Hugs to you mommy. Lilipas din lahat yan. Kayanin mo lang. You can seek professional help para maiwasan na ang suicidal tendencies. Medication helps. Hope you'll be okay soon.