Sekadar luahan :')

First time mom here. My pregnancy is not plan at all. Walaupun da jaga2 itu ini tapi pregnant juga. Anyway, still bersyukur la sebab around Mei ke Jun tahun lepas, i ada buat medical checkup la & doc cakap I ni (sepatunya la) susah nak pregnant because of my period conditions. Pejam celik pejam celik masuk Januari 2025. Badan x selesa, tau2 pregnant, 2nd trimester. No symptoms, no belly bump. I just check sebab rasa geli2 dekat perut. Rupanya baby mula gerak. Btw, I have irregular periods so 2-3 bulan x period is normal for me. I went hiking, works like there's no tomorrow, makan macam2, angkat berat semua during the 1st trimester & yes, I don't feel anything. I bersyukur sgt2 baby is healthy & I tau ramai wanita di luar sana nak conceive tapi susah. So even though mine is unplanned pregnancy, dengan doctor tu cakap I patut susah dapat baby, I'm grateful for this pregnancy. Now, here comes the down part. My check up is every 2 weeks, with pakar KK once a month (thats normal kot for other people) and with O&G at hospital every 3 weeks. Why? I have anemia, low placenta, big cyst and fibroid. 🥹 As i said, it's unplanned pregnancy, I'm not mentally prepared for this and I have mental health issues. Have history self harm & panic attacks. Sejak I tau I ada cyst & fibroid tu, I jadi down. It's because of my conditions, I takut effect or harm my baby. Ofc I have my husb to comfort me and other people as well but, whenever I go check up, it reminds me of the cyst. It's not cancerous kind but because it's so big, being pregnant may accidentally pop it. I was excited when i know im pregnant but now, im mostly anxious. All I can do is pray to God to protect my baby and I, listen to doctor advise, and just try to be healthy (both physical & mental) .