Rant :( Please listen

Hi. I am a wife and mother of 2. I'm currently pregnant with #3 (26 weeks) My husband lost his job because of covid but that's ok because SSO helped us. Recently, my younger brother get himself involved with the wrong people and they are finding him. My parents lodged a police report but that's not just it. They are staying at my house now. At first, I thought it's ok for a couple of days but I don't know until when because they are afraid to go home. I don't mind them staying him if they help a little with house chores. The house was cleaned before they came and now it doesn't even look like a home anymore. 24/7 electricity was on even water! They didn't off the tap after use. Their house is also a messed and their water was cut too. Are they going to make my bills go up and cut too? I'm so stressed. I provide them food everyday. I don't mean to be stingy but if you come to my house and see... oh my god. My brothers even make this house like a hotel... going in and out, bringing friends over. I have to use most of my savings for them. He make problem and I have to settle? 😓 The whole family is living with me and I feel like I have so many responsibilities to provide for them when my financial is tight. The money is enough if it's just for me and children but including them.... trust me not enough at all and they kept asking for so many things.

Anonymous

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We are playing different roles in our lives as a daughter, mother, wife, sister and so on. Truly sympathise with your case, but for the safety of your children, which should be your main priority, be firm in telling your brothers no friends allowed. Set the house rules and be firm with it. As for your parents, sometimes it’s hard to bring it up but do tell them nicely of your concerns. Like keeping a clean and tidy home environment would be good for your kids at home as well as welcoming the newborn. Besides that, a messy home is also a hazard to a pregnant mother. And that with a newborn coming along, many expenses have to be on a budget, so it would be nice if they could help to save cost by not wasting water and electricity and helping you out with chores if possible as your tummy is growing bigger. I hope you hold on tight and get through this, and by the time baby arrives everything is in good place. Try not to stress yourself up too much and enjoy your pregnancy as possible. Sending you hugs. Hang on tight !

Set ground rules. Sit them down. Your brothers issue I think is easiest to settle - tell him no friends are allowed to your home. Not happy with it? Don’t come to your house lor. Fair and square. For parents is trickier but not impossible to deal with. Share with them ground rules nicely as well - eg to keep place clean and tidy, put back things where they took it from, help out with cleaning if they can because you’re already big with child and have 2 other kids to take care of. Play the sympathy card so they understand (hopefully). If they are staying over for a long period, will be good to share w them your financial woes with the end goal of them forking out a bit to help out with domestic bills.

I'm so sorry to hear that, hang in there! Had they mentioned when they intend to move back? Can they change the lock of the house and install a cctv? Perhaps you can ask them to try moving back first because this is not a long term solution. It is hard to bring up the topic, but I think you should also share your financial worries with them, the least they can do is chip in on the extra expenses.

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through... You may have to stand firm and tell them that you are unable to accommodate them anymore. It is affecting you and your children greatly. Your children are still young and they should not be living in a chaos when it is possible for peace and quiet. I hope you can find a solution soon and please take care!!!

How can someone be so generous when they themselves in a tight situation? If I were you,I will keep the my home door shut. Let them deal with their own mess. Your are such an angel. I sincerely hope you will have a smooth delivery🙏 and everything will be back to normal soon!

TapFluencer

You are not alone! Jia you!!

Hang in there mummy!

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