Vent

Does it make me less of a Mum because I choose not to have Care & Control of my two boys? (The girl stays with me) As it is with my depression and anxiety, I know I can't handle them, and I feel bad if I've to force them to be with me when they find me boring. I definitely do not like them to be growing up in their father's household and learning selfish and anti-social habits, but I feel it is still a better option though I risk "losing them" as the years pass. Anyone from a divorced family who can share how you overcome these guilt and inadequate feelings?