Our doctor is suspecting my child is having asthma due to second-hand and third-hand smoke from her grandparents. We have been requesting her grandparents to stop smoking in front of her but they continue to do so as they think they are the grandparents and why they need to give in to the children. I have been restricting them from visiting my child specially when she is sick. They promised my Husband that they will quit for my kid's health but when we meet-up they continue to do the same. My Father-in-law can finish half a pack during 3 hours outing with my kids and what make it worse is he love to use his hand to touch their mouth right after a smoking session. I have been quarrelling with my Husband several times over this but it always end up in a conclusion that I am a overly protection Mommy despite the many reports I provided. What can I do to get my Husband to understand my child's health should be the priority and it is not a issue of me finding problem with them?

Oh dear.. this is tricky. I’m sure you don’t need any more information on how second- and “third-” hand smoke is harmful to anyone. Perhaps you can ask your husband along when you bring your child to visit the doctor. This way, it will not be coming from you, but from a medical professional. Hopefully, this way, your husband may be more motivated to speak to your in-laws and to enforce what they have promised. Otherwise, I would suggest bring along disinfectant wipes to clean your child when you are out with your in-laws. May not be nice but at least, can wipe off some of the lingering third-hand smoke after contact with your in-laws? Not sure if these will work.. just some suggestions. Hope your husband could help speak to your in-laws again.

This happened to my cousin -- her parents and in laws both smoke. She was pretty strict and gave the old folks an ultimatum. She basically restricted them from seeing their grandchild if they insist on smoking. The old folks are also banned from smoking in their apartment. It was tough but my cousin is pretty much gutsy to begin with so she literally dropped the hammer on them in this matter as she does not want her child to be harrmed. She also cited examples of other relatives who had died due to smoking-related diseases and this drove the point across.

If it was me, i would stand my ground and not budge. As you mentioned the cause was due to the second hand smoke. Why not bring the grand parents to the doctor and let them hear with their own ears. Hopefully that will strike some guilt in them and make them aware.