56 Replies
Please get help from professionals doctors, psychologists and help with baby/housework/ cooking from trusted family/ friends ASAP! Try to get your other half to help out around the house or even with bubby. You need time out for yourself on a regular basis and sleep. Parenting is challenging especially if they have colic or going through purple crying stage, there can be a whole host of other reasons so check in with your doctor. You do not want to injure your baby or even worse. Shaking and slapping can damage delicate blood vessels and nerves in their neck and brains and it can result in permanent brain damage, paralysis, blindness or death (Shaken baby syndrome)!! Have a checklist of things like nappy change, feeding (sometimes they need to cluster feed for a few hrs) or an overtired baby (learn to read their cues). If you don't have anyone to help watch over baby at that point in time. It is OK to put them in a safe place like their cot if they are crying close the door and make yourself a soothing drink like herbal tea or hot chocolate etc and sit down for 10-15 mins so you can regain your composure. Try skin on skin (both you and bub have your top off or breast feed. Even your other half can do skin on skin kangaroo care to soothe baby. Those things help to release soothing oxytocin for the both of you. Again please seek help! Enquire about family care centres at your drs or community nurse like (where I am in australia there is Trisellian and Karitane) you can book in with your baby to stay for a few nights so you can get a break and some sleep. They can assist you with giving tools and a plan to cope. Good luck mummy!
Hi, I know it can seem overwhelming. Especially if you are going through this alone and do not have a good support system around you. I also know how frustrating it can be to have a baby that sometimes gets fussy and will not stop crying! It can drive you crazy. Just take a few deep breaths, I mean, I am sure that you know the answer. Babies do not understand your need for peace and quiet all they know is that they used to be in this wonderful place where it was always the right temperature, they had food on demand and they could do as they please. Then one day this all changed. I can imagine how tough these months have been and I know as every parent here knows how tough and frustrating it is. Just be patient. Hitting your baby will not teach him anything good it is just a way for you to diffuse some anger. Just take it easy, find some people that can support you, and just be patient this will all get better soon. In the meantime read as much as you can. This will help you understand what your baby is going through. A good saying is „do not hate what you do not understand“. By understanding, we are able to curb our own emotions and start feeling empathy and compassion. Don‘t feel bad! We have all been there! I know I have and you are not alone.
Are you in any support group chat? Like eg, Dec Mummies group, SAHM group..? Are you a SAHM? Do you have extra help on certain days? To me baby at 5 months, they really dunno anything, even if you spank them, they do not understand. Their only form of communication is through crying, crying non stop might be due to discomfort or over tire but it may be something else. To soothe and comfort your baby, its all trial & error, you can sing, pat, rock, hum, nurse (if you are), walk, or carry in a carrier, whichever works for you and your baby. Everything may be very overwhelming if you are a first time mom and if you are sleep deprived. Try to remain calm as baby can sense your agitation and may cry even more. I sometimes just close my eyes and take deep breaths and start singing. Please seek help if you need to, you are doing a great job mummy..! *hugs
During my ML I was alone taking care of LO. As a first time parent, the lack of experience & the lack of slp does makes me loses my cool easily. I am too guilty of scolding, hitting my LO's butt before. I feel sorry for what i have done, afterall what does the baby knows? I rmb once when I hit my LO's butt, the innocent eyes look back at me.. it makes me even more guilty. I too suspected I'm hving mild postpartum depression. It is important to let your spouse knows your situation. At least he will try to come back early & help out as much as possible. I told my husband to either take baby away or ask me to walk away when I started to get angry. Never handle a baby when you are angry. Just remind yourself this is just a phase, babies grow up very fast. The days are long but the years are short. Take care!
My first instinct is to say, "don't do that" because babies that young can't help but cry as they don't know how to express themselves yet. BUT I am not in your shoes and I don't feel what you are feeling when baby cries -- maybe you're exhausted, you're tired or simply overwhelmed. When that happens, I would tell myself to leave the room for a while. If there is someone else with me, I'd pass the baby to them and go somewhere else to cool down. If I'm alone, I'd call someone (a friend, my mom) to come over if possible. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to take a step back and calm down -- because if you choose to deal with the crying baby and your overwhelmed emotions at the same time, your judgement might be clouded, and God forbid, something bad might happen. Hang in there, Mommy!
Hi mummy, Here are some information on postpartum depression that you may want to take a look at. These two articles for highlights some signs to watch out for: [This article described the symptoms in easy-to-relate way] http://www.postpartumprogress.com/the-symptoms-of-postpartum-depression-anxiety-in-plain-mama-english [And this article highlighted eight symptoms that are not often mentioned] http://sg.theasianparent.com/8-unexpected-symptoms-of-postpartum-depression/ Having good support around you will help act as a buffer and would certainly help you through adapting to your new role. Always talk to your loved ones if in times of stress. Feeling the occasional blue and getting frustrated is normal. Take care and hang in there! We are here for you too!!
Do Not shake baby!! please read up about shaken baby syndrome which is very dangerous for baby. understand your frustration dealing with a crying baby which I believe most of us will feel you too. you might want to leave baby alone for a few minutes walk out of the room to calm down before going back to baby. if there's anyone at home, leave the baby to someone else and take a break. if you suspect yourself having depression and showing signs of depression, please see a doc, having depression is very common and seeking help early can prevent any mishaps from happening. seeking help doesn't means we are weak, it's just that we could use a little help to pass this difficult time and all will turn up well in the end. fighting mummy!
the best thing to do is just hug ur baby.. they just dont know how to express their feeling. my son was like that when he is 1yrs+.. when m down n dont know what to do, i just hugged him and tell him its okay. sooner he will calm down himself unless he is hungry or need a dyapers changed. trust me, beat ur child or scold them will only teach them to be rebellious.. since thats the only solutions they learned along the way.. at least when it happen takes a few deep breath and calm urself first.. if u cant, then u need help.
Ur kid has colic I had to leave my son in the crib for 10 min at a time while he was screaming bloody murder because his stomach hurt its ok to take a small break if u feel like ur gonna explode but punishing our of anger is never ok try "Gerber colic drops " the come in a white and purple box u can get it at Walmart CVS ect. u put 5-6 drops in a morning bottle and let them lay there to digest it for 30 min or so it was a miracle potion within 5 days all symptoms of colic were pretty much gone
You should get some help from your husband, your family and friends and from a psychologist!!! Depression isn't fun and if you feel depressed you need 100% help! If you're beating or shaking your baby it's a very bad signal that you need help very fast! If you don't get some help the depression will not go away by itself it will be worser everyday! Go and get you some help! AND STOP BEATING/SHAKING YOUR BABY!!!!!! STOP IT NOW!!!!!
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