Am I A Bad Mother?

Just delivered few days ago and my baby refused to latch on me no matter wat. Seen lactation consultatnt n they also tried but cant. Have milk but due to lack of e grip, baby doesnt like to latch on. My boobies gt engored so painful and i just had csect. Wound pain, contraction pain, boobies pain. Nt getting good slp n rest. Am thinking of stopping breastfeeding but yet i felt y so many other mummies can do it but i cant. Am i being a bad mother?? ?

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Super Mum

Hi dear.. whether you breastfeed or not doesn’t determine whether you’re a good mother ❤️ Even having that longing to breastfeed your little one shows how much you love your baby. You just delivered a few days ago.. the amount of milk is bound to be little! Don’t stress out about it. If you keep pumping, the supply is bound to increase. You also need to drink enough fluids, eat well and get enough rest for the supply to increase. With so much pain from everything, you don’t have to do the extreme of pumping so frequently. During the day, try pumping every 3-4 hours for now, and at night, pump only if you feel engorged. Your breasts will actually adjust the production over time such that even though you’re producing more milk, it doesn’t get engorged if you keep to your usual routine:) Take all your painkillers for the first 2 weeks. Don’t be scared to do so. You need all the pain relief you can get to function. If you’re still keen to try latching baby on, you can feed baby with the bottle first, then after that allow baby to continue exploring/trying to latch. Baby won’t be cranky because the tummy’s nice and full before the direct latch attempts. Also, there’s absolutely no shame in giving formula milk! Baby will still do well, and you’re still a great mum! So whether you exclusively give breastmilk, or mix both, or choose to stop breastfeeding/pumping and only give formula, I hope you never feel guilty and don’t let anyone judge you or make you feel bad. You do what you think is best for you and your baby ❤️ Hang in there, dear. Things will get better soon!

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VIP Member

Don't worry, it's fine. I was in your shoes a few weeks back (baby is 5 weeks old now). I have flat nipples and my baby can't latch well, so for the first few days, I used formula to feed her first. Then my supply came in in the second week and I pumped religiously every 3 hours to get my supply going. But in the end no matter what and how I tried, my supply was stagnant and even decreasing. So now, I'm in the process of weaning and I have decided to feed my baby formula exclusively soon. Don't feel bad about it, everyone is different. There are moms with an oversupply of milk, and there are moms with no milk. For the latter, we still can provide for our kids by offering formula milk. At least you are doing your best now. Dont be too hard on yourself! :) Anyway congratulations on your baby!! :)

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Hi mummy I just given birth 3 days ago and also via c sect..for me my baby latches better on the right side den left side..for the wound pain etc just take painkillers..i actually dun wan to take painkillers but in the end I chose to take..I am also in the midst of recovering..just find which bf position is better like for me c sect I am using football hold position..cradle doesn't work for me..so u can trial and error as well..besides bm my baby is also feeding on formula as my bm is not enough..dun give up! Eventually if need to feed your baby formula den just do it so long baby is well-fed :) Just eat well etc. relax dun be stress perhaps the supply will suddenly kick in

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VIP Member

No. You are a very good mother. You have carried your baby for so many months and worry so much for not able to breastfeed. Breastfeed is not the only way to love your baby. You can love your baby through many ways. Expressed milk and formula milk is still foods to fill up your baby tummy and nowadays FM contains lot additional nutrients necessary for newborn. I don't see babies fed with FM are shorter than BM baby. Don't be too hard on yourself

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I understand how you feel. My baby used to happily latch on me until last nite (3rd days) she throws tantrum at me for making her latching. She keeps on pointing my nipples and shoving it away from her like trying to tell something about it but I can’t understand. I got sore nipples btw on both nipples. But I don’t want to give up yet and give her formula. In the meantime I’m pumping my milk and nurse help me use syringe to feed her.

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Dont blame urself. There is other methods of giving breastmilk to baby such as expressing it out and bottle feed. Besides formula milk is also a good alternative and there is nothing wrong with giving formula too. You can even mix feed your baby by giving both! As long as baby is well-fed and happy, u are a good mother. Personally, i only breastfed for the first few days, and then continued with expressed milk only.

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Hi you're doing a great job! initially the colustrum which is very thick might be difficult to pump out.. You could try hand expressing out till you feel relieved of the engorgement and maybe syringe feed it to baby. And for a start top up with formula if baby still demands more once your milk supply is established you can reduce formula feeding :)

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Hi, thats good news that you have milk in the first week! You can pump exclusively and try latching once a day to let baby try suckle. I took one month later to latch him on successfully! So keep trying and I’m currently still breastfeeding and latching every night, he is 5 months soon :) loving the bond :)

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VIP Member

You are not a bad mum. Indeed u r a good mum cause u r so worried not being able to provide ur lo. Be patience and just keep trying. Most important is try to keep your mind happy and relax :) Jia you!!!

Had same issues with you too. So I just pump. My gynae told me it doesn't matter what method we used, so long as we reach the destination (I.e., baby drinks breast milk), hope this comforts u 😊