MIL Issue Rant

Hi Community, just find that I need a place for rant and advise. So I’m staying with my MIL and even when we have our own BTO in 2025 she will still be staying with us as my husband is the only child. These are some of the details of her that piss me off - She smokes in the house, although she smokes in the common toilet which I don’t use but the smokes still travel around the house. Yes even when I am pregnant right now there is no change to her habit. - She has a dog and is a possessive dog owner. If the dog doesn’t eat for just one meal she will just keep coaxing the dog with her way. By her way means it can be so extreme like hand feeding the dog kibbles by kibbles. This will usually take 15-30mins. - She feeds the dog to drink water with a syringe🤦🏻‍♀️ Yes, she chase the dog around the house to feed him water. With the above situation, she still offered to take care of our baby next time when I am back to work. I mean…. with her smoking, it’s enough to say no to it. My baby will be exposed to the nicotine on her clothes and breath. She can’t even settle a dog and still wanna offer her help to take care of my baby. Oh god, I’m just wondering if there is any chance or way to prevent her from moving to the new place with us next time😢 My main concern is still her smoking in the house, it’s HER house right now so I have no rights to say anything. But even with my own place next time, I’m sure she is not gonna quit smoking either. Sigh

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I am a dog owner(also an ex smoker) and guilty as charged, I do spoon feed my dog as he got used to it 🫠. Anyways, when I stayed at my mil’s house (she smokes too), I usually just hide in the room after she smoke then come out after 30 mins-1hr, just that in my case, she smokes in her own master toilet (our room is right beside hers). But when it comes to my own house (I quit smoking after I got pregnant), smoking is strictly no. I think it’s only fair that my house, you follow my rules or you gtfo. My grandma always tries to tell me open the window big in the common toilet can smoke, I’m like no. You either don’t smoke or you go downstairs. You need to get your husband to stand by your rules as well because it’s his mother that you’re tackling. Sit down and have a serious talk with your husband, for your child’s wellbeing, explain to him your concerns and the risk (I’m pretty sure it’s common sense) when the child is exposed to long term second hand smoke. Sugar coat a little (in case he thinks you have something towards your mil) and let him know that you understand your mil is helping out of goodwill but at the same time, you wish for your child to be healthy. He needs to be the one explaining to her, of course if possible, amicably. Regardless, standby your rules.

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7mo ago

Thank you for the recommendations. Yes will standby my rules

Also pregnant and ex smoker here. No way am i letting ANYBODY who smokes regularly stay together with my baby. I will dabao my baby and go back to my moms house until they follow the rules.

7mo ago

I wish I can😢

Itll just gets worse, trust me. And mil, they will never hear anything we say

you can apply HDB rental while waiting for your bto

TapFluencer

🙏💕