Any mummies here who used to be working full time converted to stay at home mom and is feeling a little lonely, sometimes stressful and feeling guilty of not being able to earn on their own? I don't wanna be selfish, my kids needs me but each time I wanna spend, I gotta ask husband. Not that he minds, I do. I feel guilty. I used to be very independent. Spending on my own, never asked him for money. He prefers me to look after the kids myself. He said, "if you don't, I'll quit and look after them while you work"

7 Replies
Write a reply

My baby girl is 17months and I want to start working in 2months...SAHM job is the hardest job of all which becomes unnoticed and not salaried but baby smile is worth our efforts, try doing at least 1thing you love in a day..bliv me u will feel better

Read more

I can relate. I am still adjusting to being a stay at home mom. I enjoy it a lot but like you, i miss earning and spending money i earned. So, me and my husband had a compromise. I got a home based job so i can enjoy the best of both worlds. Maybe, you can suggest this set up to your hubby.

Read more
4y ago

I am doing some academic writing for a friend. You can find a lot of home based work via outsourcely.com and virtual coworker.com

I guess all sahm feel the same way . Same goes for me . I've been a sahm for 5 years ! Initially was tough as I'm not good in cooking but I got to do it as I can't expect us to dine out all the time since I'm not working anymore . But I seriously envy that your hubby is supportive of u being a sahm . Not many men feels the same way . Just like my hubby , he would rather I work and we get a helper instead . But I don't trust strangers and I believe only I can take good care of my kids myself . Even for my own parents , they can't take it helping me with 3kids . It's definitely not easy . But ya I do miss spending my own hard earned money and I can buy all the stuffs I fancy without having to ask humbly for it . There's pros and cons. Let's jiayou together !

Read more
4y ago

Thanks for assuring me that it will be okay. Wow salute you for being a SAHM for 5 years. It's been months for me and I cannot take it already. I feel like putting my baby in a CC when she's 18m old.

Thanks for the heads up. Reading just one comment, at least, makes me feel so much better.

Yes, I went through the same. It really become crazy if you have been financially independent and also has the nature of not asking one from your husband. I know how much heart it takes to be financially dependant and remain sane. And, worse are the times when you have fought with your husband. All through my life, I have never ever felt easy asking money even from my father and suddenly you have to ask every penny from someone. I think if your husband is that adamant of you not taking up a job, tell him to straightaway deposit an amount that you fix in your account, so that you don't have to ask for money. Also, you can engage yourself in something creative, wherever your interest lies. Doing something even if won't fetch you money initially would give you feeling of self-worth. Though, you still are doing so much which go unnoticed and is not paid for in terms of money but you know how our mind works. Our mind always wants to do something creative.

Read more
VIP Member

This decision should be mutual as it is not so easy as you will find.that financial crunch with one salary totally stopped. I was working before my second one born and we decided whether I really want.to take this step as leaving.the.corporate world after 13 years is not.so.easy. I am glad to be with kids at home and some adjustments. At time I am insane too.

Read more
5y ago

Yea I can go crazy too at times.

I think it's about finding a balance, how long have you been back to taking care of your kids full time? In my case it was hubby who had stopped working to take care of the kids and with the first few months it was very hard for him to adjust. Have you two talked about it? Talking about it is very important.

Read more
5y ago

Just after my maternity leave. About 6 months ago? Yes I spoke to him. Again and again. He said "Sacrifice for the kids now. Watch them grow or you'll miss it." He kinda make the decision for me. Initially, I was happy but slowly... The house chores, two