2.5 year old sleep regression since newborn is born

Question

My 2.5 year old toddler has been having sleep regression ever since my newborn is born in Feb this year. She cant seem to let go of latching and gets very jealous and upset when my newborn wants to latch, so she ends up wanting too. As a result I have been doing tandem bf. When I was pregnant, I managed to wean her down from comfort latching to only when she wants to sleep, but she doesnt wake up at night at all and even if she does, she can go back to sleep independently. Now my baby is 5 months old and wakes up 4-5 times at night to latch, at the same time my 2.5 year old too! She wakes up almost 5 times as well at separate timings to latch. I feel like i’m raising twins. Recently i decided not to give in and at least once i will reject her and she will cry and scream throw tantrums. Hubby will help to distract her, but other times i just cant be bothered and give in because i’m just soooo exhausted.Is this a jealousy phase? I’ve been trying to explain to her that boobie is for baby…she cannot have it. I try to scare her by saying her teeth will drop if she continues to latch haha but nothing seem to work. Has anyone experienced this before and have any advices??It’s tough as i’m working full time too. Every day feeling groggy and aching all over. Oh yes, we co-sleep too. Some nights I do feel like escaping and sleep in the guest room but i feel bad :(

Cherlyn · Answer

It is a jealousy phase but you’ll need to break the cycle. You cannot latch her anymore but it needs to be replaced with you showing her love in other ways. And it’s better if it’s something that only she gets “because she’s the BIG sister”. You’ll need to spend a lot of time with her (when you’re at home) as well so she feels like she’s getting the same attention. At this age, reward charts with stickers also start to work, so reward her for sleeping through the night, reward her for helping you with baby, etc. No need to give in to tantrums. Just say no, but give her a special friend to sleep with eg. Soft toy that both of you choose. Have a fixed and consistent bedtime routine with her (make sure baby’s not in the room so it’s special 1-1 time), and tell her that you’ll see her in the morning and give her a huge hug. Kids are creatures of habit and regardless of their behaviour, we can train them with consistent responses so that they learn what they should and should not do:)