16mo LO, hubby and i are staying at my parents place as our home will only be ready in Dec. I am also currently preg in my 37weeks. Parents have always been interfering whenever we try to teach or guide LO. Since baby, LO has always been taken care by parents and recently(these few days), LO is super duper sticky to mum. He will scream and yell until he sees mum. Furthermore, if we don give in to him in any ways, he will also scream and cried badly. Hubby and I have been trying not to let LO has his way. But whenever we are educating and explaining to LO, my parents especially my mum will interfere. Ytd night while slping halfway, LO woke up screaming and crying for no reason. Tried coaxing him with things he stopped crying, after awhile he cried again. Mum came in the room scolded us for letting LO cry and she took LO away. Hubby and i tried to tell her that this is not the right way to teach LO and he will know how to get things in his way. Its gonna be a bad habit. Ended up having a heated arguments, they claimed that we do not have the ability to take care of LO and still trying to act smart. Mum says that leave LO with her and she knows how to take care of him. Parents said that we do not know what is best for LO. We made him cry and we don't love him, just being selfish to keep him by our sides when LO doesnt even want to be with us. In the end dad shouted at us! He said " take ur son away all u want and move out of the house now, u can teach and guide whatever ways u may like, leave!" I was so angry but hubby pulled me away. I really feel so angry why would they(parents) behave like this? In the past, i remembered clearly that they told my grandparents that they are not supposed to interfere in any ways how they(parents) gonna bring up the kids. Why is it now they are doing different thing? And to think that, dad could just happily chase us out just because we are staying at their place now.

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The ideal situation would be to have a place on your own the moment you have children because these situations are commonplace. Though my parents are keen to have my wife, baby and myself live with them, (they own a nice three storey 5000 sq-ft house btw), I insisted on living at my own place and sleeping over only during the weekends where they can interact with our baby. We figured that it’s important to maintain a nucleus family and for our child to recognise his parents as the full authority. My folks have good intentions but their world-views are crafted in the past and riddled with folks-tale. And hence I have to always remind myself that it’s nobody fault when opposing views present themselves and it’s a matter of managing them. Personally, I take the scientific and medical approach. When my folks propose something that makes me uncomfortable, I will subtly point to professional practices - “Let’s see what the hospital says, let’s see what WHO recommends, let’s see what the children doctors suggest.” As parents it’s your TOTAL responsibility in bringing up your own child. Your folks are there to support and compliment, but you assume the lion share in the development of your child. Therefore, if they turn wayward afterwards, you blame no one but only yourself. Thus, my message to you is to take control. The onus is on you to have accurate thinking, being decisive and being diplomatic in terms of resolving the differences in views and ensuring that your child grows up the best possible way according to the resources that you now have.

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5y ago

very wise answer!