27 Replies

VIP Member

I think this is a lot up to fate, really. Of course you may be able to plan to have more intercourse when you really want another child - but sometimes it wouldn't happen if it's not meant to be (yet). For example, I know of people who want a second child by a specific age gap, but ended up not conceiving within the time frame - but there are also people who have had their tubes tied, but still ended up getting pregnant. Then there are the unplanned ones (doesn't mean any less loved!) like mine, which decides to surprise you when you least expect it. Having said that, this was something I used to think a lot about too - especially as a single mum. I'm an only child so I didn't want my son to feel lonely like I did, but if I wanted a small age gap, I felt so pressured to find the right man (because I don't wanna do it alone again) in such a short time ... So I ended up crumbling, and in the midst of all that, I ended up neglecting my son. Whatever age gap you "prefer", don't let it take your mind off the child you already have - when it's time for the next one to come, you really can't stop it from happening :)

Super Mum

Wow this really depends. I’ve had a lot of unsolicited advice on this. I’ve also been criticised for my choices. We chose to have our first two pretty far apart - our eldest is 11 and our middle child is 5. It’s great having an extra pair of hands around. An elder sister to set an example and to also pace ourselves as parents. Our third came two years after number 2 and the benefit is that they play together a lot. What they find interesting, the elder one no longer does so we have to bring her on other outings which are to her liking. They do fight but that’s normal for siblings. I think at the end of the day it’s about what works for you.

Super Mum

Highly debatable. Heh. But I’m very happy that my 2 kids (3 yrs apart) are close enough to play together and yet have an age gap wide enough such that I can sometimes leave my elder one to do her own thing while I feed/take care of the younger one

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My firstborn was now 12 years old and now I'm preggy with second one. So is 12 years gap is by fate one la. Not all ppl will heng heng get kid right after the time they want.

2-3 years is perfect. Anything less would be chaos and anything more, the kids may not be playing the same games anymore and probably wouldn’t get along as well.

I think it is about 3-5 years. Anything less would mean that the elder child ends up being jealous. Anything more may lead to less bonding between the two...

VIP Member

Either less than 3 (so they can play together) or above 6 (so the elder can baby the younger). Anything in between is like no mans land in my opinion

Interesting point!

My first gerl is 12 yo, 2nd gerl is 7 yo. which is 5yrs apart. now pregnant with a boy which will be 7yrs apart from his sister.

VIP Member

My elder son is 15 year old this year and I am pregnant for 3 mths , is all unplan. Most important is bb is healthy

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