What age gap do your children have?

My kids are all with a 3 yr gap except for my #3 and #4 which was an accident. So what's the ideal age gap to have between children? The truth is there's no one-size-fits-all solution. It's up to you to work out what age gap suits your family best. What would an age gap of a year or less be like? Pros If you imagine your children growing up together and have enough energy to cope, you may decide that a small gap is ideal. It will probably be a busy few months and years. But you may enjoy having all the messy, noisy, tiring nappy years concentrated into one reasonably short period. Cons Having another baby before your first or youngest child is 18 months old is going to be hard work, especially to begin with. In fact, the early years may pass in a blur. It's likely to be an all-consuming experience of sleepless nights, nappies, breastfeeding, pureed food and laundry. This means you may not have as much time to enjoy your babies as you'd like. During those early years, you and your partner are likely to be exhausted with two little ones to care for at once. Your older child may not be sleeping through regularly by the time your new baby appears. He may only be having one daytime nap as well. You'll then have the demands of a baby and a child with different needs and routines at the same time. What would an age gap of two years or three years be like? Pros If you want to have time to enjoy each child's baby years, a two-year or three-year gap may suit you. By the time your second baby arrives you should have caught up on sleep. Your first child will have become increasingly independent too. Your first or youngest child may be out of nappies and be happily feeding and dressing himself. He may also be making his needs clear with a growing vocabulary. If so, you may have the energy to return to the world of sleepless nights, bottle-feeding or breastfeeding and umpteen changes of nappies and outfits a day. Your older child will probably be confident and secure enough in himself to welcome a new addition. And you can imagine how much he'll love taking on the important role of big brother and playing with his sibling. Cons Having this age gap is still going to mean a few years before your children want to play together. The games of a five-year-old are very different from the games of a two-year-old. You may find that your younger child is keen to join in, copying her sibling. But your older child may be less keen, especially when his little sister doesn't have the skills to join in and play fully. They may both get frustrated. However, once they're both a little older, these differences will even out. A seven-year-old and a 10-year-old could have lots of fun together, playing imaginatively and sharing games. As the world of your older child expands, your newborn has to fit in with his hectic social life. Your baby will probably need to come along when you take your toddler to playgroup, nursery or school. This may mean interrupted feeds and sleeps. Meanwhile, those baby activities you enjoyed with your firstborn aren't always possible with a lively preschooler in tow. And taking a baby along to toddler classes isn't always easy. You may be able to make it work if you've got childcare available. But you'll need to factor in these costs if friends or family aren't available to help.