FIFTH: TO THE ANGEL WE NEVER HAD 👼🏻

TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ FIFTH: TO THE ANGEL WE NEVER HAD 👼🏻 January could have been the happiest month of our lives, why? Because it was our birth month and 10th year wedding anniversary, but God has a different plan for us—instead of having a happy birthday and anniversary, He made us stronger...again. January 4, I got an early present and it was "two red lines" on my pregnancy test. I was happy and sad at the same time. Happy because I've got to have a baby again, sad because I might go through all those insulin injections, blood extractions, cerclage operation, caesarian section...I was scared. January 8, we went for our first ultrasound. We were 4 weeks and 6 days according to the sonographer, but, we were confronted that you are not going to grow and that you were already collapsing inside. The OBgyne who talked to us about the result adviced us to terminate you because you were already gone...but a fool of me, I wanted to wait for you maybe you're a late bloomer, it's just only 5 weeks, maybe you're there but cannot be seen—I wanted to seek for a second opinion because I don't want to give up on you. We don't want to give up on you because Ate Jani was praying for you, she wanted you so badly our baby ading. That same day, I started spotting...nonstop spotting until the day you choose to be with the Lord. We lost the fight, I lost you...on January 24. Our Fifth, we will meet again, right? Ate is always praying for you. I know you heard our conversation when I broke her the news and broke her heart too...she said that we will go to Jesus to fetch you. No words can explain how much we wanted you and love you, Fifth. Ate wanted a baby sister and I wanted a baby boy, but I guess I'll just broke my heart instead of Ate's heart. I'll just name you our "Fifth"...our "Cinco"...our baby boy we never had. Please come back to us soon...we love you so much. This conversation warmed our hearts so much: Me: Ate, baby ading is not with us anymore. Kinuha na siya ni Jesus. Jani: No! I want ading. Me: Pero kinuha na siya ni Jesus. Nandoon na siya playing with Jesus with Ate Joanni, Kuya Angelo and Kuya Peter. Jani: Then let's go to Jesus, we will get ading. In Loving Memory of our angel we never had...Fifth.