Some rant in middle of the night

At times, you can't even share out all the thoughts to your friends or family. I just wish my husband can be more mature and more supportive. he did help me, altho hes a lil impatient when soothing baby to sleep. and i know hes tired for work, but then at times he lazy to even help me out. really wish he can be in my shoes with all these things. I felt like lately im tired of my husband even tho he did no wrong at all. He did concern me by showing some small gesture that clearly he loves me but i just dk why am i being like this...its really sucks that i have to deal with my own mental health alone although im surpressing it for years already. It sad how he can't understand my mental illness is gettint worst.