Now currently im having a two month old daughter , returning to work around june .. Been hating almost everything , including the thoughts of leaving my girl wit a maid who is a stranger .. Hate the thinking of she might b close to the maid next tym rather dn me who is the mother for her .. Been having many thoughts of cutting wrist , whenever my daughter dun slp in the middle of the night or wen i need my slp i feel so angry that i beat her .. Bt aft awhile , think n feel so heartache .. Am i turning into a monster ? Been having mood swing easily .. Frm happy now cn turn irritated next sec .. Feeling a sense of fear inside me ..

mummy, it is definitely hard to see your own baby being cared by another adult other than u. However, the first few months are the most difficult of the caring process. U need someone to help you while u recover from your wounds. It sounds like you might be having postnatal depression where you have mood swings including hurting yourself. You are not a monster but it might signal that you need self care for yourself before you can care for your baby. Talk to a counsellor at Family Service Centre or your husband or any close friends. Dont worry, your baby wont forget or leave you. The maid is only a temporary help and you will be with your baby till she grows up. You are the best and nobody can replace a mother.