Choices over Judgement
“She needs y o u more than she needs your breastmilk.” I was completely consumed in the very worst way. If I wasn’t pumping, I was thinking about the next time that I had to. And if I wasn’t thinking about the next time I had to, I was stressed about my production — or lack thereof. I dreaded telling my husband for fear that he’d be frustrated not only with the fact that she would no longer receive my “liquid gold” but also at the added expense of formula. I didn’t want to tell my mom. I certainly didn’t want to write about it either. I cried, dude. I really had myself convinced that I was robbing her of a lifeline — that my breastmilk was the o n l y healthy, viable option for her. I felt selfish. Weak. Ashamed. Guilty. And that’s when I realized that I was chained to the expectation. I was bound to something that wasn’t the only healthy, viable option. Satan had me. Those feelings aren’t of the Lord, sis. He’s not a God of shame or fear or guilt. He’s a God of grace and goodness. He’s a God of freedom. So I told my husband. He held me as I held our 3 week old and he whispered, “Kayah, she needs y o u more than she needs your breastmilk.” Then I called my mom. She gently yelled at me and told me, “I’ve been there, and IT IS OKAY. And if I catch you comparing yourself to other women who successfully breastfeed for years, I will have dad shut off your phone.” Freedom. This isn’t a post focused on me justifying why I stopped breastfeeding. This is one of grace and freedom to the moms who face the struggle of guilt and shame when considering the switch. I don’t care what the reason is — a lack of production, a latch struggle, mental health — if you are compromising your joy and your sanity and your mental health to breastfeed, I have to ask — is that really best? A formula fed baby isn’t less loved than a breastfed one. So Momma, I want to tell you, you didn’t take the easy way out. You aren’t weak. You are strong. Your baby needs Y O U more than your breastmilk. It is OKAY. And if I catch you comparing yourself to women who successfully breastfeed for years, I’ll tell your dad to shut your phone off. ??♀️ Follow on IG : https://www.instagram.com/kayahroper/ Ctto Saw this in facebook. And I just had to share this to other mums out there ☺️?