My 4yr old girl and 2yr old boy are quite stubborn and impatient. When they want something and immediately but could not get it, sometimes will throw tantrum. We don't give in all the times. Have ask them to wait patiently as we are busy, count to 50 method, explain to them method, etc. Soft approach don't work sometimes use hard approach. How to train them to be patient and not too stubborn?

Hi, you need to understand the different phases that they are in. Your 4 year old should be easier to handle though she is at her whining phase. However, your 2 year old may be going through "Terrible 2" phase, most of the time he will say "mine". These two phases are somewhat similar but different. 4 year old: " Before you know it, the somewhat calm child of three becomes a dynamo of energy, drive, bossiness, belligerence, and generally out-of-bounds behavior. You may be reminded of the earlier trials and tribulations you went through when he was two. " 2 year old: " It’s so difficult to follow the ups and downs of a two-year-old. One moment he’s beaming and friendly; the next he’s sullen and weepy—and often for no apparent reason. These mood swings, however, are just part of growing up. They are signs of the emotional changes taking place as your child struggles to take control of actions, impulses, feelings, and his body. At this age, your child wants to explore the world and seek adventure. As a result, he’ll spend most of his time testing limits—his own, yours, and his environment’s. " You cannot use the same method on them as they have different sets of needs. For your girl, you will have to use the reward and punish method and be stricter. You need to tell her to set an example to her brother. However, if you give different treatment, your 4 year old will start whining and comparing as to why she gets treated differently as she is now able to express her emotion. For example: They are demanding for a cookie before they finish their meals. You tell your girl no and that she had to finish her meal first but you give in to your son and let him have a cookie without finishing his meal. For your boy, you have to go down to his level, look him into the eyes and tell him nicely and firmly. Calm him down and make a promise to him and make sure you keep to your promise. Let him understand that he needs to learn how to wait. It may take longer for him to understand and accept. You just need to keep repeating it. "The more confident and secure your two-year-old feels, the more independent and well behaved he’s likely to be. You can help him develop these positive feelings by encouraging him to behave more maturely. To do this, consistently set reasonable limits that allow him to explore and exercise his curiosity, but that draw the line at dangerous or antisocial behavior. With these guidelines, he’ll begin to sense what’s acceptable and what’s not. To repeat, the key is consistency. Praise him every time he plays well with another child, or whenever he feeds, dresses, or undresses himself without your help, or when you help him to start with the activity and he completes it by himself. As you do, he’ll start to feel good about these accomplishments and himself. With his self-esteem on the rise, he’ll also develop an image of himself as someone who behaves a certain way—the way that you have encouraged—and negative behavior will fade. Since two-year-olds normally express a broad range of emotions, be prepared for everything from delight to rage." It is definitely not easy having kids with close age gaps. I have a 4.5yo, 3yo and 1yo. Sometimes I do forget that they go through certain phases and expects them to behave similarly and I treat them the same which is a mistake as they have different needs and desires and troubles in life. I have started the method, "If you throw a tantrum, you are not going to get what you want." And I always explain to them why after they have calmed down. All the best. Be firm and strict. Understand their needs and difficulties. Quotes are from www.healthychildren.org

Have you ever try to be firm with them and let them cry it all out? Make sure you are firm and don't give in, if not it will not work, 1 time embarrassed is better than everytime also like that. Now i don't even scared to bring my child go toy r us, she walk finish 1 round came out also didn't cry and want to get anything at all. Never your child climb over you, if not it's hard to discipline them. By the way, i nv use cane before.