Obsessed MIL!!!

Hi mummies! How should I start… So basically, my mil is very obsessed with my first son. Before he was born she was obsessed already and touching and rubbing my stomach which my husband asked me to! After giving birth, I can see that she treats my son as her son.. and on the first night at home, my son sleeps with her. And the reason why is that, my husband wants the both of us to rest which got me upset and away from my just 2-day child... As months go by, whenever I’m not happy about MY MIL. The husband refuses to listen and care for his mom’s feelings. Until now, my son is 4 months old. I feel like the husband doesn’t support my parenting style and letting MY MIL TAKE IN CHARGE! And mind you, I could not do anything about it even when I talked about it. I feel like my position as a wife is to give birth & let whatever MIL wants to do. I feel that my voice is not supposed to be heard by the husband😞 Thank you for reading my rant. #firstbaby #pleasehelp

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Same here. Same, im like not suppose to voice out anything abt my son when it comes to PIL. Each time i voice out, even with the nicest tone possible, thinking to avoid arguments maybe, still ended up fighting w husband. He couldnt accept i voice out things i not happy abt with his parents. The thing is his parents also damn obsessed w my son, always want to carry that poor baby who’s asking for milk or wants to sleep whenever he’s crying. Ended up never give milk cos carry alrd baby will keep quiet. This has been going on since my baby was born, till now he is 6month . We had an argument again 3 days ago abt the same thing & till today i never talk to my husband. I had enough & im currently also pregnant w 2nd baby & hes being a jackass to care for his parents feelings more than the mother of his child’s. So be it. I just find him childish & until he learns his mistake and realise hes not suppose to be doing that to me, i will continue treating him like a wall. And yes, dont settle for people who thinks they got the rights to treat your child like theirs and do whatever they like to your child. Only we, the mother got the final say for our child. Not even our husbands.

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Common inlaws problem here. When baby was out for just a few days, they literally visited every single day, and stayed throughout the day which made me very tired during my confinement. Voiced out and my husband actually sided his family. Until 1 day I just couldn't take it and broke down, then he realised that it's really taking a toll on me. What more, everytime they came, they kept playing with baby, not allowing her time to sleep, don't pass baby back to me, when I go take baby, they still can say if people wan to take your child just let them be. Literally have 0 respect to me, as my child's mother, refusing to listen to whatever I say. My husband ans I quarreled so many times until we had a serious talk throughout the night and eventually came to a consensus that he has to stop his parents from being like this after he sees how tired and cranky baby is all the time. I guess communication is quite important and how we try to relay our point to them. But sometimes they need to see for themselves then they understand, else whatever we say just goes to drain. As tho everything needs proof.

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hi dear! I also live with my in-laws, but its not my MIL, but my FIL.. we had 100th day for my son and he just pushed my son (in his pram) and hid himself and my son in a corner of the function room, not allowing ANYONE near.. my guests complained that they didn't even get a glimpse of my baby!! fast forward 2.5yrs later, still the same problem.. didn't matter how many times I spoke to my husband to speak to him, or even spoke to him directly myself.. I lost count the number of actual arguments we had, ending up all parties black face and cold war... FIL has his own parenting style, complete opposite of mine... his style is give in to my son at every wimp, resulting in plain bad behaviour in my son till the daycare teachers complained... in fact just yesterday's Mother's Day dinner was a total screw up again cos my son refused to eat his dinner and he agreed to take him away...

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Trust me my mil is largely similar to you. Before my son is born she is obsessed w him and kept saying things like want to buy this and that for the baby, and that baby first month has to be celebrated at her house etc. I can only say i will try to tolerate as far as I can, until i cannot take it anymore i will voice it out to her. The son is mine, and i should have the final say in parenting style. If she wants to overstep, then she will have to argue with me, not ask my hubby to come n speak to me. Anyways we stay on our own, so if she is not happy i would let her come to our house lesser... But that said im also very worried since now ive not yet given birth and she is already obsessed much.

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Remember when you gave birth to your son and while at the hospital he was tagged S/O followed by YOUR NAME? You shouldn't have to but remind your hubby & MIL that he's your son, you have every right to parent your child the way you want. Have a serious talk with your husband, try the different approach method & worst case scenario as another user suggested.. threaten them. By law & everything above, you went through pregnancy carrying your son in your womb, you went through child birth, YOU ARE YOUR SON'S MOTHER and your MIL will literally never replace you. 🫶🏻 Stay strong mama!

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If speaking to your husband does not help, just speak directly to your MIL. Yes she maybe wanting to help/ care, but u have ur style of parenting and she should respect and follow. There’s no wrong for u in dominating on the parenting for ur own child. Ur MIL had a chance to parent and play the mother role to her own son / children, now is ur chance to be mother of ur son’s / child’s. She has zero rights; or rather nobody has any rights to snatch it from u. U were already a mother nurturing ur baby since ur first day of pregnancy painstakingly bringing it to birth.

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2y ago

I totally understand that situation and feeling.

I think firstly you should try and have private serious talk with your husband without getting angry, ask him to accommodate your parenting style because it's your baby, not your MIL's. Then just take everything your MIL says with a pinch of salt but do it your own way. Don't break the relationship, yes you can fake it one, learn from office people. Otherwise you can always privately threaten your hubby to move back to your mom place with the baby.

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I’m the mother of my baby. I will not let anyone, even my husband solely chose who take in charge. I went through the hardship to carry my baby for 40 weeks, who are they to claim my son as “theirs”. I understand he’s also the father of my son, if he’s the one caring/parenting my baby, I will be more than happy or open to support BUT he have no right to chose my mil for our son over me.

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2y ago

I agree with u ! Esp when is the their first son’s child 😒

assert your dominance as your baby's mother to your husband and mil. to give your husband a taste of his medicine, whatever he does or how he parent your baby, you have to object. and only agree and support your own style or your own parents style.. give him a taste of his own medicine. and if he complain or whatsoever, do exactly the same as what he did to you

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If your mil is doing good taking care of your son den let her be. You can take a rest. Else you need to have a very good reasoning with your husband to get him back on your side. Or you can suggest to move out and not stay with her. And enrol your son into preschool.