Enthusiastic Mil

How do I say no to MIL who is trying to find ways to come over to my house more than twice a week, staying over half the entire day, trying to help in taking care of my baby when clearly i dont need any help at all? For the past 2 years, my Mil has never come over to my house or care if we have homecooked food on wkdays after work. Ever since my delivery to a baby girl, mil has been overly concerned over my well being, hoping to bring food over as an excuse to come over so that she can take care of my baby. Noted of her good intention but her presence has caused some distress and inconvenience to me. Her consistent hugging of baby and peeping into my bedroom to check if my baby is awake resulted me unable to latch my baby on demand. Ended up we have to bottle feed baby as she wanted to take over the task. She even suggested both my hubby n i to exercise together instead of taking turn to workout on weekends. Reason; so that she can also come over to take care of baby when both of us is not around. I know it is a happy problem but I am tired of her always suggesting something to make us be away from our baby so that she has the chance to offer her help to take care of baby. And even suggested us to put baby in ifc for half day instead of full day. How do i tell her we dont need her help unless we really need? I feel like I am being force to accept her help and so tired always have to come out of an excuses to reject her.

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Did you talk to your husband about your concern? Perhaps you guys can sit down with your MIL and get your husband to say politely that thank you for offering your help. We really appreciate that gesture. We understand that you are trying to help us so that we won’t get burned out, but is it possible that if we are really in need for your help and we will contact you immediately for your help? Also when you are latching on, you can tell her that you are going to latch on and inform her that you will lock the door as you are not comfortable with someone coming in while latching on. Anyway bottle feeding is not a bad thing actually, cause sooner or later you will need to bottle feed her unless you are going to be on exclusive breastfeeding and not giving formula. Additionally (not sure if you are working mum), but if you are and you are going to put your baby in someone else’s care, your baby will need to be bottle fed. Treat this as a transition phase for your baby, though it’s troublesome that you will need to pump then feed your baby.

Hi Mummy, I truly understand how inconvenient and distress u are whenever ur MIL is around. I was like u and still am, to be honest. I hate it when my mil peep inside my room when baby is asleep. Or when she comment unnecessary things. I have been the one and only one taking care of my 3 kids since born and none of them offer to help taking care during my confinement till my first LO now aged 3, youngest LO is 5mths. At least, ur mil finds excuse to look after ur child, and gives u both some 'alone' time :) u're lucky, mummy! Perhaps, u wanna plan with hubby about how u want it to be? It is hard to be away from ur baby now, but trust me, u need that 'time' later. Take this as an advantage tat u both have extra hands! ❤️ Infant care cost me close to $800/child after subsidy. Imagine with 2 infant. 😢 Playgroup cost me about $230

Wa quite hard

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