I'm crying now while I type. My first born is 2yo now. We used to slp tgt. But nw that my newborn came to this world, I sleep with my newborn as I bf him. Sleeping separate from him is so that my first born will not be disturbed by my newborn when he cries. He sleeps with my hub. Now, whenever I want to sleep with him while my newborn naps (daddy in living room), he won't want me. He will say, "i dont want mummy. I want papa". It breaks my heart. We used to baby talk alot and sing before he sleeps. Now they can only be memories. My first baby doesn't want me anymore.
I'm exactly what you typed. My elder one is 1 week shy from 2 yrs old when I gave birth to my newborn. I slept only w my newborn as I need to bf. Hub slept in another room w elder. She said tt too. Initially I was heartbroken too. Then I said daddy is showering, hungry, take something, etc. Be encouraged that ur firstborn wans daddy too so tt u can hav more rest whenever u need. Ur firstborn still needs you and will still love you the same. It wouldn't be jus memories, they will happen again. Don't be disheartened. Now tt my 2nd one is 6mths old, n I've recover better from my csec and health so I spend more time playing w her (not as much as last time but still as much as possible tt time allows). She's close to me again. Perhaps it's due to post natal blues tt u might be experiencing those feelings. I was more upset when she preferred my sil, felt a little better when it was my hub she preferred though initially sad. One thing abt relationship is it can be cultivated n bonding will be stronger when given time. U r the mummy, who will they wan if not u. They need you. Jia you!Read more
Don't worry, your boy will not dislike you forever. I'm sure all if not most mommies with more than 1 child will go through this - I did too. For a period of time, my older boy preferred everyone else and even my helper to me and cried badly and struggled when I went near him. It hurt me so badly. But my hubby told me, even if he didn't want me, I should still carry him. So I had to be thick skinned and continued to go to him and tolerate his rejection. The worst was he rejected me in public. After some time (a few months maybe?), he's close to me again. Continue to show your 1st one love and care. You may need to sacrifice some of your time with the newborn and spend more alone time with your 1st one. He will gradually understand that you are the Mommy who loves him the most and will be close to you again.Read more
Hi big hugs. Don't be sad, I am sure your elder and you will bond back soon again. Kids forget easily and can be won over easily. You can perhaps involve him in helping to take care of baby more? And praise him after that and explain to him about the situation. Make him feel proud to be a big bro but let him know as a big bro he needs to make some adjustment. Maybe also arrange with your family once a week to have personal time with your elder, just two of you only. Bring him out for a good meal or something. I guess you are feeling all the emotions of being overwhelmed as a mom of two. The situation will be better, kids don't bear grudge :)Read more
I'll be honest, i think you should take this as an opportunity so you can focus on your newborn. It'll be much harder for you if your elder keeps on asking for your attention because you might be unable to give that to him because of the current situation. Just be happy because your two boys is bonding and enjoying each others company. Plus, you get to rest. You need that so you can regain your strength asap! And yah also because you just recently gave birth so your a little bit sensitive now. Try to be happy and stop thinking negative thoughts, keep in mind you are breastfeeding, your mood and feelings can be absorb by your baby.Read more
Hi mummy, I feel u. What he said, is just a moment of how he felt. My 3 yo used to tell me that as well but after I bonded back with her, all the "I don wan you" disappeared. It can be hurting now but he doesn't know what he is saying or means so don take to heart. Try to bond with him as much as u can. Also, coz we give birth not long, we r more emo. It is not easy to be a mother of 2 and I must say, u r doing the right thing coz u know best. Focus on ur Newborn and bond with ur firstborn by playing n involve him with ur Newborn. As time goes by, it will be much much easier.Read more
Hi babe dun worry I'm sure ur elder will want u again , just try to spend more time with him , its normal u feel sad cos u spend a lot of time with him so just remember try to let him know n let him feel u still love him, I'm sure he can feel , cheer babe
This is only a transition period. Your first born is still getting used to the new baby. Take your time to explain with him mummy still loves him & the baby is here to bring the family including him joy. Chin up! Things will get better
I feel you mummy. But it's normal. Just do what you think would be best at this situation. As your tot grows, he will understand the situation better and will warm up to you again.
Dun worry mummy it normal... But for me I just let my kids sleep along even when my youngest just born... I dun care if they will disturb cause I wan them to be use to noisy
Thank u mummies..makes me feel slightly better..thanks for the comforting reply..means alot..