Pls don't judge:( I'm confused in need of advice. Just found out I'm pregnant, while having 2kids

Hi I'm a 22yo SAHM, with a 21m boy and a 8m girl. I just did a pregnancy test as I'm late of 2weeks period and feeling a bit of stomach discomfort. Turns out it was positive. Currently, we are staying at my mom's house and planning to apply rental hdb by next year. Our finances for these 2-3 months is a bit tight. My husband asked me if I wanted to abort or keep and understand our current situation if I wanted to abort. I feel so lost. I know that if we keep the baby we have to be ready to face the situation of raising the baby along with my 2 other kids. But at the same time, I feel that if I were to abort, I would feel guilty about it and maybe It will make me emotional and affect my other 2 kids. I feel like I won't be mentally stable to take care of my 2 kids if I abort :( I'm already feeling emotional and my hands are shaking just thinking about it. I was planning to register my 2 kids to childcare and receive some subsidies while I go and look for a job and help out my husband. If I decide to keep the baby and after giving birth, I plan to use the patch as a birth control. Pls don't judge me the only birth control I used before was just condom. I know it's not easy raising a kid but my husband and I are willing to work extra hard to save as much money as we can while waiting for the baby and our rental house. We are willing to do whatever it takes to raise our children properly without asking help from our family. Pls help to advice. (Extra: If any Muslims reading this pls advice) Also, i wanna know as a muslim what is the view on abortion regarding my situation whether if it's permissible or should I keep and try my best to take good care/help my husband with finance?

Anonymous

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As a Muslim and an ustazah, in Islam, the soul enters the fetus at 40 days. Before that, there is a difference of opinion amongst scholars on whether or not you can abort. I understand your situation is tight, but do believe and have hope that insyaaAllah with every child, there will be Rizq and Allah will sustain you and your family. Just as how you've made it so far with your 2 children, you can and will continue to make it. It will be challenging of course, but you can get through this if you choose to keep the baby. You may need to reach out to get help from others as well. It won't be easy with 3 young children or look for more flexible work arrangements. Making Du'a for you and sending lots of love 🥰 Do seek help from the FSCs and social workers!! It takes a village to raise a child and sometimes you just don't know what help and what options are available to support you and lighten your load!

Hi mama!! While it is a challenging circumstance, I think the fact that you're already trying to plan forward and think for the wellbeing of the children is so heartening. I'm from the social service sector and wanted to share a resource - do consider reaching out to this organisation called ALife. They have a programme called SUPeRF that supports mothers with unplanned pregnancies, by helping to talk through the decisions with you, helping to connect you to resources (finances, groceries, baby supplies) if you qualify. You can just google and go to their website, then WhatsApp the number for support! Wishing you all the best!!

U need to ask an uztazah on this. You are very young, can your parents or his parents help out? Idk if easy to find a job since u r pregnant. After reading this, I think your niat is to keep it and seek Him for help and more rezeki. Because you mentioned that you will be full of guilt and wont be able to tc of ur current kids properly. Do discuss with your husband on this ya. Right after this pregnancy, you can tell your gynae to put you on birth control ya. I wish you all the best ♥️

hi sis. i think you do want to keep the baby. so just go ahead and believe that Allah will provide as long as we usaha too. insha allah ada rezeki for the baby. yes, it will be tough but u can do it. take care.

It’s seems pretty clear to me that you wish to keep your child. There’s a will, there’s a way, though it might be a tough one. All the very best to you and your fam!

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