Extra emotional today :(

I just want to vent out my feelings here, kahit na wala masyadong nakakabasa. Gusto ko lang mailabas at mabawasan ang bigat sa dibdib ko. Siguro at this state in my life ang dami kong worries and fears, and what I do lang is to pray and slow down, naiinis ako sa anxiety attack, sa hormones, like in everything I do now parang kulang. Iba pala talaga pag mommy ka na, you can't stop moving, you can't stop thinking and do nothing. Kailangan mong lumaban everyday kahit halos wala kang tulog. Paano nalang pag lumabas na yung 2nd baby ko? how can I be a mom sa 1st born ko? Thinking about what's gonna happen in the future scares me. Mom guilt is striking kahit wala pa, paano ba lagpasan yun? parang everytime i'm looking in the eyes of my son, i"m praying na he'll understand everything na sabihin ko, gusto ko makapag-cope up sya sa mangyayari in the future, with the online class, this pandemic and the transition that he'll be kuya after 2-3 weeks. I'm just praying na si Lord na ang bahala to sustain our needs, physically, emotionally especially financially. Kayo po mga mommies, ano po ang worries n'yo? #week34day4 #babyboyforbaby2 #TAPmom