Should We invite my Mother in our wedding day?
Hi I am really torn apart from this situation that i am in. Ganto kasi yan My mother and i dont get along . Simula kasi ng nagka malay ako wala ako maalala na magandang memory with her. I was a battered child, it all started when my father had an affair when i was in gradeschool . I was pretty close with my father when she kicked him out of our house she was full of anger and hatred na saming magkakapatid specially me (bunso sa 3 magkakapatid) nya nilabas lahat ng galit nya sa tatay namin. When i was still in grades 6 mama and papa got back together again kasi buntis nanay ko and at that time buntis din yung Ate ko at the of 17. Parehong babae . I was only 11 when they decided na kelangan mag aral ng kapatid ko na babae (17) para matustusan yung bata my mother who was raising my baby sister volunteered and since i was the only "adult " (i was 11 to 12 ) at the time i was asked to help her out . The problem is after a few months i was not allowed to play anymore , go to school events or even go outside dahil kelangan alagaan mga pamangkin ko at kapatid .sometimes pag uwi ko sa bahay walang pagkain, madungis mga bata , makalat bahay , wala pa ko na uniform na nilabhan. So ako galing school magluluto, linis , paligo bata , gawa assignment , laba ng damit all in a few hrs para lang may time pa ko gumawa ng assignment . My mother would just sit on her couch watching the tv (minsan di sya naliligo for days ) when my brother (fav. Child ni mama) visited us she complained about how i never helped her around kaya raw di na sya nakaka ligo kasi alagain din raw ako etc etc . She amd my brother has a temper kaya one time ng nasagot ko sya and i tried to explained my self to my brother it didn't ended well for me. I was shoved down and dragged by the hair in our yard . Kung di pa ko dumugo sa ulo di pa sila titigil . I got 7 stitches in my head. After that i never felt anything for my mother . Before graduation ng Hs. She never gave me any money (she told me na wala na yung Educational plan na inipon ng tatay ko) to apply for college . She told me na wala rin naman ako patutunguhan kahit mag college ako. ( I was not the brightest in our family but I was smart enough to get a full-ride scholarship sa Isang university sa manila ) she told me no. And that line na nakakagago "Kung sa manila ka mag aaral sino mag aalaga sa Kapatid mo? Sa pamangkin mo? Ako?? Aba ka? Ang kapal mo naman ?" From that day I became depressed and at the same time hatred consumed me na I was on the verge of self destruction. Alcohol, teenage sex, vandalism, self-harm pero no drugs. Feel ko wala naman kwenta buhay ko. When I was 15 I was about to end it all ng malaman ko na buntis ako. I tried to get my self back again Kasi may bata sa loob ko e. Pero when I saw my mother hitting me and my 4-year-old sister and Niece. I said to myself na I can't bring my baby to the shitty world I live in. So at that time, I wanted to have an abortion pero my family found out about the baby and told me to keep it. My father didn't talk to me for months pero he was supportive (emotionally, financially) to me and my baby. My mother helped but she would sometimes make Public humiliating remarks about me in front of our family and friends. Behind close doors she would hit me, my younger sister, niece for petty stuff like my sister not being the first in her class, not answering the question fast enough. Etc. The abuse was so bad na minsan hindi namin papasukin yung mga bata kasi may pasa sa kamay at mukha. I wore a scarf and leggings para ihide yung bruising. My father had enough of her abused. One day he took me and my 2 year old Baby girl. Then followed by my niece. ( ayaw ibigay ng Nanay ko yung Kapatid ko, walang laban si papa since di pa pwede pumili yung Kapatid ko ng parent nya) my brother who witnessed the years of abuse justified my mothers' action as "parenting" My father gave me a new start. We stayed at the camp he was working in. I went to college and had amazing friends, that is when I met my Husband Sweet guy, smart, stable job, good family. and after 2 years of being together and after he courted my Father and my baby girl they gave him the blessing to marry me. Now we got excited and I got pregnant again this time a baby boy. ❤✨ We are planning a big wedding since once in a lifetime lang kami ikakasal na dalawa. His family is strict with family values. His mother is a fantastic woman sweet and loving I am afraid na pag ininvite namin yung mama ko she would make a scene and destroy our wedding and my life again. I can't stand her do shit to my life again. Now that I have a family to protect, I just can't have her in my life again pero whenever I tell people about me not inviting my own mother to my wedding they look at me as if I am some monster. My husband knows about the abuse and he understands. Pero I am afraid na baka isipin ng mga anak ko na ganto dapat trato sa nanay ? What should I do?
