Need advice

Hi all. I need some advice. I recently remarried, expecting now and due nov. I have a child from previous marriage and i work full time. This is my husband first child. Ever since being pregnant, the first few weeks was hard as I developed sudden hatred towards my husband and i just couldn’t get near him without feeling disgusted (i swear its the weird hormones. Not intentional) intimacy was really an issue for my husband where he kept complaining when we’re not able to have intercourse. I will always have cramps after every intercourse so I didn’t want to do it and of course gynae asked that we stop until after i give birth for safety of me and baby. Fought so many times over this. Lasted for a dew weeks. Later on it disappears and got better. We used to be very active and pregnancy made me hate being intimate so so much. Now i started going back to disliking him. I overheard husband saying few more months to go before things go back to normal. I replied “cannot guarantee ah becoz Im not sure how long my body will need to completely recover. We carried the baby for 9 months, it is only fair for our body to take around the same duration for it to heal completely. “Husband got really upset and started saying i am exaggerating and asking why until like that i say. He has never heard anyone taking so long to heal. Sometimes i feel so stressed till i feel i made the wrong decision to remarry. I really don’t know how else to explain to he will still be alive without sex sigh

1 Replies

I feel you about the “alive without sex”. But do find an avenue to release these anguish you have because it can get worst with baby’s arrival. Remember, your husband needs you, all his emotional and physical needs has to come from you and at least he was honest about it. My hubby alerted me about “the importance of his mental health” after our first child. At first I was like wtf but we must also understand altho the changes we have with our body and mental health is legit, theirs are not to be neglected too. We just have to tweak our mind and be positive, rule over the hormones. For sex, I realise they just want some sexy times to release themselves so dont dash his hope of no sex for so long haha (Dont have to be painful for you, just be gentle), relax and put yourself in the mood that your husband craves for you still. Think love. If intimacy is a problem now, with baby’s arrival it can get worst so now is the perfect time to fix it. Men is simple. Lol good luck!

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