Bad mummy

Am I one if I want to be exclusively pumping? That immense pain of direct latching is slowly killing me. Saw the blisters today. Also now I have engorgement and my confinement nanny keeps feeding me milk boosters food. I’m stressed with my boobs as big as coconuts. Can I tell her to back off with the traditional old wives tales: cannot drink plain water, must be red dates tea.. Please enlighten me which old wives tales you broke. I’m painful up and down (first week pp) and I’m going nuts soon.