I will be having my termination as scheduled very soon. Mixed feelings about keeping the child because I don't know if I could handle both kids with huge age gap and their needs are very different. Maybe I wasn't a mummy calibre in the first place since so many mummies can do it without help with more than 1 and yet I am struggling already, wondering if I will turned into a depressed mummy if I continue the pregnancy.

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No one is born a mother until a child is born. No one has the perfect way to teach or guide a child. Is your family helping you? Mother or in laws? Your husband helping? How wide is their age gap? Could the elder one care for the younger one? We used to struggle with one too, second came along and we struggled but eventually we are used to it. There are some things we close our eyes to. The house is always in a mess with toys, occasionally neat, after I packed away their stuff when they sleep. Mop the floor only once a week or even fortnightly. Accumulate n wash our clothes 3 times a week. Guilty of nagging husband to tidy up the house or watch over them, but hey, it's a team work. Not one person's job. Of coz every families functions differently. You might want to speak to a counselor or someone who can advise you better?

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8y ago

Hi I used to have help from MIL but now I am SAHM and she is not of good health. Dont have own family to help. Husband also doesn't hands on much when I was having our first child. They will have 7 years age gap. Not sure if my first can help as he himself needs more attention than other kids as he has special needs I am constantly worried about him coping in mainstream now.

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If you have decided on the termination, i would say you have to look on the bright side. I also don't wish for you to slip into a depression after the procedure. No one is born to be a mummy, everyone learns along the way. I am a mother of two. I do breakdown while doing the care of the kids. I always questioned myself. But things will be possible if you bite on. If your first child is old enough, get them to be active in helping you. It may be difficult, but will get better along the way. Sometimes, don't overthink, just let things go the simple way.

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8y ago

Thanks Jorelle. Hopefully after the termination I will push myself to be a better mother. Husband seemed to be getting annoyed by my questioning already. My current child just started school and I feel like a failure just to ask him to do homework. I am really on standby mode in case his school cannot handle him.

Dear, big hugs please cheer up. I'm not mom calibre either. But it's either do it or don't. No other choice. All of us have our doubts. Frankly I don't even like kids for a start. However we just get by, how. I don't know. I advise you to not think of no so much. And try to be more positive. It's not as bad as it seems and you are not alone.

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I'm not mum calibre too n I complain ALOT. I also wanted to terminate my #2 but my frd who managed to settle two on her own with no help convinced me to keep. So now I am still struggling but IT GETS BETTER AND BETTER. And I look forward to a new day everyday. An advice on whatever decision u make - it will pass. Jia you.

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