dear mom, i think you are stressing too much for your child, and he is only 3 ! i feel that your stress is eventually rubbing off on him, which is why there is so much confusion and attention seeking behaviour.
why don't you relax for some time and take it easy, and also let your boy live the life of a little one? he will get into a competitive mode anyway when he grows up, so what is the hurry? instead, why don't you spend more quality time with him? take time out for just you and him and give him some undivided attention and love. i am sure it will make a lot of difference.
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