I just fought with my mother in law. I am fed up of living with her and i will be asking my husband to choose between me or her. But I am scared he will choose her. Any strategy on how to ensure I get my way.
Just be patient. She meant well but in a different perspective from yours. Try to understand where she is coming from. It’s just a temporary situation. Relationship is long-term. Just remember, as a parent we need to set good family values that not revolves only you, your husband and your child but it’s important that you show your child what love and respect to their elders mean. Children need their grandparents’ love and support and this is a good contribution to your child’s mental, emotional and physical growth. Just talk it out calmly and reasonably with your husband and try to understand his side of family dynamics as well. Re-check your thoughts before doing something which you will regret. If you love your husband, try to also think of his role as a son. His family values, etc. We will all grow old one day..so we do want to be understood as well when the day comes. Just think about it, if the situation is reversed, would you do what your husband asked you to do. Just think through it ...You won’t lose..I promise you. :)Read more
When it comes to making a choice like this, its not only difficult, its selfish in a way to your husband. Don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you. I have a son too, and I do hope I will not turn into a monster in law to my son's future gf or wife. Its never easy living with in laws, especially mother in law. She is the first woman your husband love, the bond that they have is what you can't recreate with your husband, its a different level kind of bond between husband and wife. Me too, living with in laws while waiting to get a place of our own, therefore I can understand how frustrating you will feel. I don't have a face to face confrontation with my MIL, but the tension is there. I do hope some day, she will accept me for the person I am. I just wanna be a good mother o my son and a good wife to my husband. There is a price to pay living together, lack of privacy, which I needed. Talked to husband an he tried his very best that I feel alright. Please Don't make him chose, love and support is very important in a marriage.Read more
I used to have the same problem, and my mil will scold me but i will nvr scold back or reply her anything. I nvr asked my hubby to choose n even refrain from telling him cos i know he will be vv stressed & if he tells off his mum, the suituation will be worst.. So i told myself, everytime she is unhappy about me, instead of being angry too, i will buy her a small gift. Eventually she starts to appreciate me & now we r on pretty good terms. Do good n be well mannered towards everyone especially t
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I would suggest you keep calm and let things slide if those things aren't principally important (your bottom line). I was on bad terms with my PILs as well, and I figured, they're old. They wont have much time to battle with you anymore. Never give anyone a chance to say you lack mannerism, it's an insult to your parents. Right now we're not so bad, at least we talk but we are all cautious about one another. Whatever my PILs say about me behind my back, I convey it to my husband. How he see the situation idc, I only let him know what his parents say about his wife and he be the judge what to do. We're waiting for our flat which completes estimate Apr 2022 might be delayed but better than nothing. 2 years very fast gone, I feel very hopeful already. 😊Read more
Ive been through that phase where trying to live together coexistingly with the in laws was a living battle. I lasted 8 months of staying with in law when i finally took the plunge to start living on our own. Was glad my hubby was supportive enough, bt then again we sat down together husband and wife heart to heart conversation and thats when we finally decided that its best to live on our own. I hope you could pull this through. Try talking nicely hope it works both ways!Read more
I fight with my MIL too. I put up with her for 8 years now. Though recently we just moved. I didn't make my hubby choose. How would you feel if you have a son and he chose his wife over you? I would rather you sit down with both hubby and MIL and talk through everything. It may not be as easy but I remained calm for 8 years and seems like it's slowly getting better :) chins up, you'll both get better in no time!Read more
Oh is very sad to heard that, your husband will be vary stress. Mother and wife both are important person one is a woman who feed him from young to and adult and one is a woman stay with him to old. Are you staying with your MIL if yes maybe move out with your husband stay contact with her. Or you are not staying with her let your husband visit her his own you don't follow.Read more
There isn't any. Put through to ur husband what u are feeling and see if there's any way to stay separately. Trying to manipulate him into choosing u will just make u out to be a scheming person and that may backfire in the end.
At your work place if you have foreign assignment seek it, and stay away from your immediate family for a short while. To me relationships as any other 'system' need a break too to get refreshed and recouperate.
I had the same problem as you. But i didn't ask my hubby to choose as it's his mum afterall. All i did is make a clear cut with mil and make it known to my fil and hubby. That's it.